#but also. get that shit off my post man c'mon. at LEAST keep it in the tags

[vaynglories]

turns out maybe we are all just one bad day away from becoming that guy. experienced one of my generic shippy posts being reblogged with h*zbin h*tel shit and i suddenly understood why that person had their Joker Moment

new type of guy discovered today (guy who made a post that blew up and then @'s people in the notes about why they're tagging it with the wrong fictional characters)

[enniewritesathing]

Discussion/Comment Post #...5?

I'm not sure; I've lost count but The Werewolf certainly did not.

Like my dude Walt from Fosters said:

It was not!

This is (maybe obviously) the part that I wanted to get to after me spending how many months yelling about and wanting to get it right to the point where I was doing the equivalent of moving furniture two inches to the right. Partially because I wanted to do this part justice; I had the idea when I did the Incident but I did not have the skillset I do now (or the CC).

That said, thank you @pink-chevalier for pointing in the right directions of a lot of things at 2-3-4 in the morning.

There is something that I would've liked to do but I have no patience for -- and that was animating blood dripping. I had enough trouble with highlights and making the heart wet/fresh... also learned how to dink around in Procreate.

I recognize that this part of the story is the scare the hoes (affectionate) away part. If you stumbled upon this and you stayed? Hello. If you took one at the warnings on top and said I'mma sit this out? Well, there's a bit more left.

also that said, this update got way more love than when I did it. Seriously; that part of the Incident averaged like 4 notes... part of why I was nervous about this update.

Anyway, let's get to it. Not in exact order..

When The Werewolf/Vin promised he was gonna kill everyone, he meant that shit. He said that shit with his soul and folks? He did it.

I'm not sure if anyone has caught this at all and I wish tumblr has like a spoiler thingie that's the black bar, you know the one but...

hey, everyone's death? foreshadowed!

except Thomas' in that he literally just caught a stray bullet. to the head. See, had he stayed in the other room, he would've lived and I'mma say this -- like John, when The Werewolf says he's gonna do something, he'll do it and he wouldn't have done anything to him or Mark. but nooo. see how Charles thought little of him?

anyway, back to the foreshadowing. Jordan was first -- and The Werewolf nearly got to them the first time until Dan came in at the last moment. (this is also important later on.) Jordan was more or less responsible for monitoring/making sure that The Werewolf is at least breathing and adjusting the levels as needed.

so him going for their throat and not only putting his claws through it but slashing? makes sense right? I couldn't breathe (oxygen) so now you can't either except you're choking/drowning in your blood. :)

honestly, Jordan fucked up when they asked the question of why John hadn't turned back if he was dead. when you bring questions into a situation like that, it's not going to end well. it's the equivalent of the teacher asking any questions before letting class go early and someone raises their hand to do that and now you're stuck bc it's actually a legit question. In a horror situation?! C'mon...

is that going to be explained? maybe, maybe not. i encourage yall to think. or don't and be like "yeah sure i'll believe that".

Bernard's I had to think... and honestly, his death was kind of out of pocket. So, his death was foreshadowed (if you squint) when he was with Charles and that big ass knife -- and he suggested that to him maybe he should cut John's face bc he is too pretty. Another thing with Bernard is that he is known for mouthing off and get into arguments specifically with Daniel. He's p much he's an asshole, but he's right in most cases.

I had to keep in The Werewolf jumping off like he's on the top rope of an AEW match. One of many favorites I have.

This time I decided to show Bernard's crushed face/head and the shocked looks of Daniel and Charles (more so Dan.)

Now, we get to Dan, who arguably, is just a coward, a hypocrite, and y'know what? engaged in some, dare I say, pussy behavior this whole time. Let's roast talk about him.

when I was going through the Incident and I was wondering, okay, what's Dan's deal and throughout the story, I decided that y'know what? big man ain't shit.

(i also decided that Daniel was the biggest out of everyone which meant that what happened to him in the Incident didn't quite make sense -- so I changed it for the way better.)

Sure, Dan saved Jordan right as The Werewolf was gonna grab them and do lord knows what. But he flat out abandoned them and made no effort when they were grabbed by The Werewolf. Oh! And! AND! He fucking guarded Charles. (Charles side-eyed him btw.)

Prior to that, he was given not one (he could've walked out), not two (he def could've walked out), but three! Shit, four times! He had more than enough chances to be like "aight, I'm out; have a nice day".

Yall heard what The Werewolf said about that. Nothing is lost on him and he read him for absolute filth before he killed him.

Anyway, his death -- it is the longest. Jordan and Bernard? They were chump-change, they were the warm-up.

now keep in mind, this mfer was still guarding Charles when The Werewolf did the Phoenix Wright finger (🫵). You know it was gonna be bad when Vin didn't even look Charles way.

0.1 seconds later Daniel is shifting the blame to Charles and Charles parried that shit like "hey, you're still here, idk what to tell you."

Dan does that thing where you accuse someone they know they did but they try to be all horrified about it??

But I have to hand it to Dan, in a way, he wasn't exactly phased when The Werewolf blinded his right eye.

like I said, this is the only major change I did to this part but I did keep the choking in (something something if I had a nickle everytime Vin choked someone out, I'd have 2 nickles, which isn't much but it's weird it happened twice) and I thought -- what would The Werewolf do instead?

and he said, "I wanna yeet him" (me: "is that what you wanna do?" // Vin: "let me do it, woman." say no more, wolfman.)

This is also another fav thing of mine that The Werewolf does. It is a show of power, even if he's not 100%. (Idk what percentage I'd put him at all things considering that he was 99.98% dead for 2 hours a few minutes prior.) He can throw a dude that's bigger than him into a wall, breaking said dude's back.

(there's so much I love about this part.)

Anyway, Dan's death is a call back to when he rescued Jordan and punched The Werewolf right in the solar plexus with a needle (something that neutralized Vin almost immediately).

The Werewolf was like 'oh, you punched me in the chest, well I'm gonna punch into your chest and rip your heart out since you've been fuckin' with mine'.

Did The Werewolf had to eat his heart tho? Probably not but yknow, all that jumping around and throwing people... bound to get hungry.

(this was slightly extra but he deserves it as a treat.)

like I said with Thomas, he would have survived had he just stayed in the other room.

You notice that Mark is flat out absent. if you have a good memory, I said he was the smartest person out of this whole story. as early as when The Werewolf was starting to wake up, Mark was like nope, I'm out, I'm not going anywhere near him again.

Not only that, he won against Jordan at Rock, Paper, Scissors in deciding who was gonna be the 4th in the lab.

Don't forget, Jordan told him it's okay to be selfish sometimes… at someone's expense.

Now, let's get to the Werewolf himself!

He had his (beautiful) dead fish eyes wide open for 2 hours and frankly I'm surprised he didn't blink earlier when he did.

I wanted it to be extremely subtle that he's just waiting to snatch people by having his hand twitch (I didn't want to make it super obvious bc that meant that Charles would have seen it. I thought about it when Bernard was taking the bracelet off but that would've been too obvious.)

In the Incident, they were just blank, but adding the super blown pupils in really makes it ...creepy? I'm not sure if that's the right word. he's just there like ◉_◉ and nobody exactly addresses it, lol.

which really makes the part where he looks up at Jordan truly scary.

I made the command decision for him to have his hair down after killing Bernard for a visual cue aside from the cracked floor. The force of him just cratering this guy's head in loosened up his hair. It gives him a much wilder look like the lord intended. and hotter lbr here

since I couldn't do it last time or I didn't quite have the cc for it, I made The Werewolf bloodier with each kill. I'm sure you can guess where this is going to go. (he's gonna need to be powerwashed)

I also decided to make a gif out of him breathing after killing Jordan to emphasize that hell yeah, he's alive, he's breathing actual air, let's go gamers; I'm gonna fuck everyone up.

now that I look back on it, this part kind seems kind of mouth focused. don't think that's anything on my part, but it could be for yall.

now the part between The Werewolf and Daniel... there may or may not have been some metaphorical fucking happening. Jury is out on that, but I wouldn't be surprised if that actually was the case. Why did you whisper in his ear and call him that, Vin? Huh?? 🤔😭

that said, he'd get so many catfish if he went noodlin'. love that for him tbh.

I wanna be on the record that this might be a favorite shot of mine -- I have several and I may do a "ennie's favs" post when I'm done with this story completely but--

The fuckin' look The Werewolf has in the mirror. Get his ass!

I thought to myself, "do I want to make The Werewolf a Nasty Man while I'm at it?" and ofc, I did because a) he deserves it and b) I want that moment where he eats Daniel's still beating heart to be a statement. What statement could that be?

i'm so sorry

I did kinda scare myself a little when I had to take the shot of him smiling. It was gonna be a close up but I'm like no that distant is good. I considered putting it as a jumpscare.

I made the decision for him to look deranged for a bit and go back to 'normal' on the basis that the amount of blood around his mouth was distracting. Like you just wanna get a big ol towel and wipe it off (but a risky wipe bc he's feeling bite-y).

Here's a question or maybe a comment, idk: just how did Daniel and Charles clock that The Werewolf was still weak or even guess that in the first place? Did they figure out through his movements/body language? (Vin did kind of linger after killing Bernard and he was a little raspy after throwing Daniel into the wall.)?

on the other hand, Vin is a mixture of the remaining toxins and a shitload of adrenaline and kind of a mess in general. He may or may not be vibrating a little bit.

...I want yall to keep that in mind for a later thing; it's also an explanation. (One that I think that I feel is indicative of The Werewolf in general.)

Or was it like their way of trying to bluff their intentions? like "a-HA; I have a shot at [x]! You can't do shit to me!" obviously that went so wrong for Daniel.

and finally -- this is gonna be just the one question that I have for Charles and for you, readers if you wanna take a crack at answering.

hey, what the fuck is YOUR deal? you uh, you got something to share with the class, Charles? This is the second time that's happened. Oh, and Vin thinks your blood smells bad. What does that mean? Can your blood be stinky because you're a stinky man in general?? And why is it that your vibe is just rancid?

You know a mfer is sus when he addresses John as Johnathan this whole time. Nobody calls him that!

(a side note... as much as I hate this mfer, Charles is fun to write. He's just so slimy; this is the first time in a while that I've had a sicko (derogatory). So, next part/update is going to be interesting to say the least.)

okay, if you made it this far, congrats -- but I also wanna hear your thoughts, speculations, comments, etc...

[stratesphere]

RTC HEADCANSONS OMGG

n e ways rtc is consuming my left brain as korn and homestuck overtake the right!!! headcanons timeee

Ocean:

i believe in scruffy ocean, she def has a hooked nose, freckles and slightly messy hair despite how well she tries to keep it neat. sje also has braces..

shes a QUEER!! probs unsure of jer gender but too ashamed to try and figure it out, (ocean x constance real)

she hates blueberries, i can't explain why she just does

shes 5'7!!!!!!!! tall!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!1

she plays the violin and many other string instrument

—

Constance!!

she made rhe whole choir bracelets, despite how msnytimes mischa breaks jis on accident sje always makes him a new one.

one side of her jair fades into purple dye and the other blue, her glasses r FAKE!!!!

also her and Noel r besties and she absolutely adores hearing about Monique when she gets rhe chance

lesbian.

she really reallt really really really really likes Clairo and Car Seat headrest.. a lottttt

—

JANE THE SWEETHEART (or Penny) ((or Savannah))

in the attic room thingy, as jane, she had detached puppet strings on her elbows, knees and neck

agender, pansexual Jane real

her and Ricky r in love cuz i absolutely adore spacedolls theyre so cute im gonja sob i oove them smm :3

(i exist in fhe au where rhey all get brought back to life) Jane learned how to bake bc of constance and shes not bad at it. also after she got brouhjt back she kept the name Jane and Savannah

Mischas like a big brother to her def!!

—

Noel (aka me)

he loves strawberries soooooo much but hates cherries, theyre rhe only red fruit he wont eat.

sometimes he'll "preform" as Monique for Constance. he also talks about his fantasies wirh Ricky like 'my oc aants to be friends with your oc!!!!' type shit and now there's a Monique zolar catwoman-man

hes genderfluid and gay, doesnt care what pronouns ppl call him

guys pls Noel wouldn't like Will Wood or any music like that.. maybe 70s music like Abba and sometimes 80s but he listens to French music c'mon yall

whejever mischa switches 2 Ukrainian, Noel switches to French and they both steadily pick up on words in the languages from eachothe r

—

Mischaaaaa

HE IS NOT MUSCULAR PLEADE🙁🙁🙁 HES NOT SKINNY EITHER HES LIKE IN BETWEEN IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN

he listens to Lana Del Rey occasionally bc shes the only English speaking artist Talia likes. also after they all got brought back yo life (let me dream.) he finally saved up and brougjt Talia to Canada

cries slightly everytime he breaks one of constances bracelets, he feels bad everytime but constance doesjt mind at all. mischa is the #1 every choir member defender (even ocean but he doesnt show it)

BISEXUALITY🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

reads rickys stories about his silly off brand David Bowie (the silly space age bachelor man) ((thjs one is inspired by another post i saw I don't remember the og creator im sorryty))

—

last but not least Ricky!! (also me fr)

he/they pronouns usually but slso uses a lotttt of space related neo prns

him and Constance take care of the cats the choir own

HE ADORESSSS 60S-80S POP MUSIC AND JUST DJFJEJFJ AHHHHH🙁🙁 jes rhe average ziggy stardust enjoyer

hardly cries.. like at all, also he lightly tapped Ocean with his crutches(?) once and she freaked out (idk what the things je usss r called im sorry)

for some strange reason hes very medically talented??? like for no reason at all. and his fave Homestuck character is Eridan and Nepeta

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

I have to admit, Burke Devlin has been growing on me since he abandoned his whole revenge plot against Roger. A lot of my dislike of the character came from his aggressive, pushy personality and his willingness to hurt or manipulate anyone in order to get his revenge on Roger and by extension the rest of the Collins family. Burke came into Collinsport like a bull in a china shop, ready to destroy the Collins business and deprive all the fishermen working for them of their livelihoods if they wouldn't agree to switch sides and work for him. Never mind that Elizabeth, who ran the business, never actually knew that Roger was guilty, and that all the workers at the business had exactly jack shit to do with Roger's crimes. He was willing to manipulate David and Carolyn (and then tell Carolyn that she surely "knew" he was manipulating her, way to make it all her fault, Burke), and would get pushy with uninvolved people like Vicky and Maggie.

BUT, Burke also showed a more heroic side several times. He joined forces with Roger and came running to Vicky's rescue when she was kidnapped by Matthew Morgan (while Roger was ready to dismiss David and do nothing). He also came running to the rescue when David was in the shack with Laura - too late to do anything, but he tried. I think Burke was genuinely fond of David, despite basically using him. He also tried to intervene on Liz's behalf when she was being blackmailed by Jason McGuire. He even showed concern and compassion for Willie when Willie showed up at the Blue Whale post-Barnabas bite, and was clearly Not Okay. He was willing to set aside all his grandiose revenge plans when he finally got a confession out of Roger - yes, I was guilty, you weren't, I deliberately sent you to jail for a crime you didn't commit. And that's the other thing, Burke is right. He is right to be angry, at least at Roger. He has an understandable vendetta against the wealthy, seemingly untouchable family that stole his freedom.

Of course, now we are getting into Burke's romance with Vicky and he is starting to piss me off again. He keeps trying to decide what is "best" for Vicky and goes behind her back to manipulate her relationships with other people, because Vicky is clearly a hysterical young woman who is "too obsessed with the past" and can't make her own decisions. Tells Barnabas not to give her a book, tells Julia to stop involving Vicky in her research because it is supposedly "not good for Vicky." Expects Vicky to quit her job as soon as they are married, despite her attachment to David and the rest of the Collins family. It comes across very much as "How dare you have any strong interests that aren't centered around ME, your future husband?" And when Vicky points out that she knows almost nothing about him or his past or business, he basically says "Don't ask me about that, it doesn't matter, all that matters is your future with me." When he tells Vicky to stay away from Barnabas, he also pulls a "Because I said so, just trust me, sis." So the guy proposes to Vicky after they have only been dating a short while, refuses to tell her anything about himself and his past, and tries to cut her off from her personal interests and friends that he doesn't approve of because he "knows what's best for her," dude is dropping red flags all over the place. C'mon Burke, I was just starting to like you.

I dunno, there is just a certain type of character that I feel like pops up in 50's and 60's media especially (and probably later) who is supposed to be a decisive, authoritative man (in a positive way), but to me always comes across as a pushy, controlling asshole.

Of course, Burke is ALSO right about Barnabas, I have to give him that. Barnabas is a shady character whose idea of winning Vicky over involves sneaking in her room at night and playing Josette's music box, a totally normal, non-creepy thing to do. When it comes down to morals, Burke is definitely a better person than Barnabas. But an ex-con who has set aside his revenge plans is less interesting than a cursed, angsty vampire, sorry Burke.

[multifandoms27-blog]

Seto Kaiba pre-relationship headcanons pt. 2

Content: MORE SETOOOOO <3

Warnings: Uhhh none I don't think

Notes: Part 2 hehe. Part 1 here

~*~*~*

OKAY. So to add on to before, I don't think Kaiba would pay a whole lot of attention to you until he finally gets some time off to go on a vacation with Mokuba, and Mokuba wants you to come with

It's clear that the younger Kaiba brother looks up to you so much already, and he texts you while you're in school all the time, so much that Kaiba's had to tell him to stop so you can focus on your studies

Mokuba actually gave Seto your number, he just has yet to text you back lol

So, Seto agrees to let you come along on the vacation. He texts you during school (after he just told Mokuba not to smh) and just fucking tells you that you're going. Doesn't check to see if it's okay LMFAO

You're just kinda staring at your phone before texting your parents/guardians that you'll be going on vacay with the Kaiba's.

(Forgive me, I've never been outside of America so I don't know what this is like) Seto and Mokuba are set on going to the Carribean, so you packed your bags and went with them

Seto, now relaxing by the poolside while you and Mokuba play in the pool, he's scrolling through social media on his iPad when he gets hit on the head with a beach ball

He looks up and Mokuba is hiding behind you, both of you looking terrified

He puts the iPad down. “Yes?”

“U-Umm…maybe put the tech down and…spend time with us?” You say, not so confidently.

"I have wor-"

"But it's a vacation, Kaiba." You retort. "C'mon...live a little. At least for Mokuba?"

Seto sighs and puts the iPad down, taking off his shirt and jumping into the pool, splashing both of you.

Seto is actually surprisingly easy to get along with, as seen when he resurfaced and immediately pounced on you and Mokuba.

"You wanted me to put down the tech!" He says.

Seto will take pictures of you, him and Mokuba before going out on dinners or to nearby beaches, or just even out anywhere. Seto's actually big on capturing the moment, change my mind.

When he posts the pictures, he'll tag you in them, surprising everybody at home. Joey would comment some shit like “WOAH (nickname) YOU WEREN’T KIDDING 🤯🤯🤯”

If Seto finds you two asleep, he'll drape a blanket over the two of you (and may just give you a lil smooch on the forehead before reeling back and being like "wtf why did I do that")

He'd also be watching a movie with you two and Mokuba falls asleep, leaning against you. You both snicker and make sure the blanket is keeping him warm.

"Thank you, Kaiba. For the vacation." You beam tiredly.

"Hm? Of course." Seto responds.

"Can I lean against you...? I'm a little tired..." You'd yawn.

"mhm." Seto nods, not taking his eyes off of the movie.

You lean against him, head on his shoulder, and you slowly fall asleep on him. He'd look down at you and give you a soft smile, once again leaning in and kissing your forehead, less shocked that he did it this time.

Mokuba catches on to Seto's growing feelings for you before he does, and teases him about it.

"You like (Y/n)!"

"What? Mokuba, that's preposterous."

"Admit it! You like her!"

"No, I do not!"

"Okay, so you wont mind if she goes on a date with Yugi, hm?" Mokuba smirks.

"Don't you dare!" Seto retorts.

"HA!"

Once y'all get back home, there's already many rumors that you and Seto are dating. Now people at school hang off of you like tree sap on a tree trunk.

Seto doesn't answer the rumors. Mokuba is begging him to just ask you out, Seto is trying to figure out his feelings, and you're wondering why Seto hasn't answered the rumors yet. It's a mess.

Eventually, Seto finally mans up.

He comes home late once again, you're just scrolling through your phone on the couch.

"What're you still doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you, Seto."

"Fitting. I also have something I need to talk to you about." He's fucking nervous.

"You go first, then."

Seto then confesses how he feels about you, and how he wants to pursue a romantic relationship with you.

"...Well that partially goes along with what I was gonna say."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I was gonna say, either deny or confirm those dating rumors and either reject me or date me."

Guess you're dating now <3

Probably gonna make part 3?

[parkers-gal]

Heyy. Could you repost the fic where reader announces She s pregnant but gets scared that Peter will reject her so she breaks up with him? (I had requested part 2 of the 2 parts if I'm not wrong.) You don't have to ofc! Love you 💙💙

yep, i’ll post part two too!

—

warnings: lol pregnancy, slight angst, cursing (characters are all 18+)

wc: 2k

There was a fine line between a lot of things, but being pregnant and not being pregnant was not one of those things. In hindsight, maybe Midtown should have told the students which condom brands were least effective, or maybe even May or Pepper. And just by luck, Y/N happened to have skipped her birth control pills for two days in a row, the two days she spent entirely with Peter. And now, though she didn't know it was inevitable, she was facing consequences she thought would come much later in life, if at all. 

What would her parents say? How would Peter even react? Would she keep it? Would Peter support her either way? 

She didn't want to find out the answers to any of the questions flying through her mind. In all honesty, she didn't want to ask the questions at all. Instead, she sat on the bathroom floor, leaning against the cabinets as she let tears slip in realization that this was going to change her life forever. 

Wiping off a few last stray tears, she tucked the test into the back of the cabinet before getting up and leaving the bathroom, grabbing her purse and making her way to the front door.

"Y/N, honey? Are you alright?" Her mother asked right before she left. "You were in there an awful long time, hun."

"'m fine, mom, just thinking. I'll be back, probably gonna get more of my stuff."

Y/N was just in the middle of moving out and into her own apartment. She was corning her last year of college, and she figured it was best to slowly transition into her own life as an independent adult. As of right now, her apprenticeship wasn't the best she could get, so she was only moving into the Avengers tower with the rest of the team until she got the promotion her mentor promised her. Despite being an avenger, she didn't actually work for Tony or Bruce, and she didn't depend on them as much as Peter did. She was still close with all of them, though. 

Walking through the double doors, she gave a small nod and smile to George, the man who stood on guard at the entrance of the tower. Making her way to the elevators, she pressed the button and debated on what she was going to say to Peter. 

The living quarters of the tower were two main floors, but the central living center had the kitchen, so most Avengers stayed there until "curfew," as Tony had called it. 

Making her way through the halls, she passed the kitchen, where Bucky, Sam, Steve, Wanda, and Natasha were located, talking and drinking what must've been one of Steve's old fashioned drinks. 

"Hey, Y/N," they greeted her individually. In response, she only nodded, trying to get to Peter as fast as possible. Furrowed brows and wide eyes they were, shocked at how closed off she was being. It was only when she left the room that Wanda gasped, staring at the spot Y/N had just been on. 

"What?" Nat said quickly, urgently. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Back in Peter's room, Y/N had just knocked, Peter granting her access and she stepped inside, clutching her purse close to her as her breathing quickened and her pulse increased. 

"Hey, babe," Peter said, his back to her as he fiddled with something on the bookshelf. 

"P- .. Peter, we need to talk." 

At this, he spun around, glancing in her eyes to try and decipher what she was thinking and what she was about to say. What came next was not what he expected. 

"Okay."

"We need to break up."

"W-what? Why? I though- I thought w-"

"We just need to break up- I'm breaking up with you," she rushed out. 

"Baby, come on, let's talk about this. Tell me why. Did I do something? Did something happen? I can make it better, I can change- make things right, c'mon don't just-"

"Peter I'm breaking up with you," she said, her voice cracking as she finally allowed the tears to flood her eyes. Peter was full on crying as she turned around and left his room. Thirty seconds passed before he went sprinting out of the room after her. 

Wanda and Natasha had called just about every Avenger into the compound's kitchen, and just in time to see Y/N leaving with tearful eyes and Peter chasing after her. 

Wanda hadn't explained to anyone what she had read in Y/N's mind. Though they knew something was up, they weren't prepared to witness the action of the words (or thoughts). 

"Y/N," Peter breathed out. "Y/N!" he said again, gripping her wrist to spin her around. "Why? Why the fuck would you just drop that? What happened to us?"

"Don't make this harder than it has to be, Parker." 

"I'm not! I just want to know why the girl I'm in love with is leaving me so sudden! Don't you think I at least deserve to know why?"

A few more tears fell down her face before she exhaled. "I wish.. I wish I could tell you, Peter."

"Well why don't you?!"

"I- I can't."

"Did you stop loving me? Was that it? Did I do something?"

"I didn't stop loving you. I could never stop loving you-"

"Then why are you giving up on us?!" Peter exclaimed with defeat, both of his hands pulling at his hair before covering his face as he started crying again. 

Y/N stepped forward, hesitantly about to reach out to console him before deciding against it and leaving altogether. 

When she was gone, Wanda breathed loudly, Natasha doing the same. 

"Peter.." Nat said, walking towards him slowly. "Are you... alright-?"

"She just- did it!" Peter whined out, abruptly cutting her off. Natasha rushed forward to catch him and he gripped her tight as he cried out to whichever god cursed him.

"We need to talk," Wanda whispered to Nat, before filing out and leaving the two alone. 

***

"What the fuck was that about?" Sam exclaimed in the training room. The Avengers had resorted to the gym for some privacy, knowing neither Y/N nor Peter would come willingly unless they had scheduled training, which neither did. 

"Seriously, though," Bucky replied. "They were doing so well, things were going so great-"

"Okay everyone just sit down!" Wanda exclaimed, pacing back and forth as Natasha stood next to her, rubbing her forehead in thought. 

"Do you know why?" Steve asked after a moment. 

When Wanda didn't vocalize her response, merely making guilty eye contact, the Avengers knew. 

"Of course you know," Bruce said. 

"Okay, what's this about?" Tony said, coming through the doors, a few minutes late. 

"Y/N just broke up with Peter," Loki stated blandly.

"What the fuck?"

"I know, right?" Steve said, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and sympathy for the pair. 

"And.." Tony glanced back and forth between Nat and Wanda and the rest of the crew. "Wanda knows?"

"Mhmm," Nat hummed. 

"Well, wouldn-"

"Y/N is pregnant," Wanda blurted out. 

The silence that overcame the group was deafening. Pure shock and surprise were overwhelming emotions as the heroes struggled to wrap their minds around the realization, the truth. 

"Holy fuck," Sam whispered. 

"That's why.. she broke up with Pete?" Bucky said. 

"Mhmm," Wanda hummed back quickly. "I could feel the anxiety she had. I think she let it get the best of her. She was still in shock, still panicking. I don't think she's known for long." 

"We have to do-"

"No, we don't do anything. Nobody says a thing, nobody does a thing," Natasha informed strictly. "I swear to fuck if any of you do something I will come for you myself. Let Wanda and me handle this. You all don't know the start about female anatomy." 

"Yes, ma'am," Bucky replied, the others nodding in agreement. 

***

About a week later, Y/N was walking into the training room. She saw Steve, Natasha, Peter, Tony, and Bucky standing around talking about something, and as much as she wanted to avoid him, she also knew that she had to attend training. 

"Hey, Y/N/N," Tony greeted. "I'm making some schedule changes."

"Okay.." she said after a moment, putting her bag on the bench as she glanced at his clipboard before making eye contact again. 

"Pete, you're in for four days a week, each a two hour session. You'll spar with Steve for two sessions, five mile runs with Nat, power training with Bucky and Sam, you know the drill."

"Y/N," he started, flipping a page. "I'm.. cutting your sessions to thirty minutes each. Only twice a week."

"What the fuck, why, Tony?" She asked.

"Yeah, that seems unreasonable and unfair. She gets less time and I get more?" Peter joined. 

"Well, I just want to be cautious with the baby on the way and all that," Tony said nonchalantly.

Time seemed to freeze as the group went dead silent, all except for Peter. 

"Baby? What baby? What the fuck are you talking about?" he asked, glancing between Tony and Y/N. "Y/N? Ar- are you- are you pregnant?" 

She closed her eyes and exhaled, her hands clammy and sweaty as they were balled into fists.

"I'-I'm..."

"Is that why you broke up with me?" he said, his voice dropping to a whisper as the realization hit him. "You thought you'd leave me before I had the chance to do that do you?"

"I can't do this right now," Y/N breathed, rushing out of the room. Peter ran after her, and Natasha punched Tony in the arm once they had left. 

"Y/N, Y/N!" Peter exclaimed, catching up to her and spinning her around. "Is it true?"

She closed her eyes before nodding again. When she opened her lids, her eyes were glossy and red, "Yeah." 

"Were you ever going to tell me?" he whispered, voice cracking. 

"I don't- I don't know, Peter! I was so afraid you were going to break up with me or leave me or that you were going to hate me if I didn't keep it or that my parents would disown me or some shit like that! I just did it first to avoid it all."

"Avoid it all?" Peter repeated. "I love you, Y/N," he stated, grabbing both of her hands. "A baby isn't going to change that, whether you keep it or you don't. It's your body, so it's your choice," he said, and her head rolled in disbelief as she sighed. "I love you," he stated again, tightening his grip on her hands. "And you're carrying my baby. Did you ever think I'd be happy?"

"Peter we're so young, basically fresh out of high school-" 

"I know it's unplanned, Y/N, and that makes it so scary. But I would never abandon you like that."

"I really love you, Peter," Y/N huffed out, her tears beginning to free fall now. 

"I know baby," Peter said while pulling her into his chest and embracing her for the first time in a week. 

After a few moments, Y/N's breathing evened out and Peter spoke up. "Are... are you going to keep it?" he whispered, kissing the top of her head. 

Her throat was sticky from crying, and after a few seconds, she answered. "I am." 

Peter held her at arm's length to look at her, really look at her, and he kneeled down and kissed her stomach, voicing his excitement and feelings. 

The Avengers, who were watching from the doorway of the training room, smiled in relief, a few of them wiping stray tears and rubbing their eyes to regain their composure. 

"God they're growing up," Tony whispered. 

"Not just yet," Pepper fired back, glancing at the pair before grinning herself, thankful they were in this together. 

(part two is out)

[tammythompson-singslikea-muppet]

Reconciliation (Stan Uris x reader x Richie Tozier, Reddie)

I'm finally back! It's probably been a year since I posted Betrayal and shit has really hit the fan since then, but here I am a year later with part 2!

Here is a link to part 1

Warning: swearing

Aged up: 18/19

You tried to catch up with Stan as he power-walked out of the house. He stopped short when he realized his car wasn't there. "Stan" You catch his attention and he turns around. His chest rising and falling at a quick pace, "You heard everything in there?" Stan's voice was quiet, much quieter than just a minute ago. You nod and he sighs. "I'm sor-" You cut him off "Don't be" You take a step forward and bring your hand up to push some curls out of his face. He leans into your hand, not stopping himself for once. No yearning, no shouting in his head over his actions. Just the feel of your soft palm against his cheek. Stan takes a deep breath, feeling himself calm down in the wake of your touch. "Can we go somewhere?" Stan's voice barely above a whisper. "Of course."

Richie leaned back against the wall and slid down to the floor. He brushed his hands through his hair 'God I fucked up' "Man you really fucked up." Richie looked up. "Thanks, Bill your a real help." Bill put his hands up in defense. "I gotta say I really didn't see that one coming," Eddie spoke up. Bill and Mike nodded in agreement. "I mean I knew *something* was going on but holy shit I didn't think they were in love with each other," Beverly added. "We know Stanley's in love with her but is she in love with Stan? I mean she was just in a serious relationship like a week ago" "Yeah I wonder what happened to that relationship?" Ben's eyes sharp at Eddie, voice stiff and slightly viscous, "Alright! Alright!! None of that!" Mike's authoritative voice made it known he was seriously done with all the fighting. "She loves him" The group turned their heads at Richie's small voice, Ha stared down at the floor and spoke softly. "She may not be in love with him right now, but I could see it. She's falling for Stan."

Eddie looked over at Richie. A mix of emotions reached throughout the boy. He hated seeing Richie like this, but he also hated that it was about you. Mostly he hated that it was about you. He couldn't control it, no matter how much he wished that he could. What is it exactly that Richie is so mad at? Is he upset that he potentially ruined his relationship with Stan? Is he upset that Stan is in love with (Y/N) or that Stan claimed he neither loved nor cared about (Y/N)? Is Richie still in love with (Y/N)? If so is he mad that (Y/N) could be in love with Stan or that she is moving on so quickly? Eddie couldn't help but feel like he was still second to you. It's not like Richie chose to tell you. He kept telling Eddie that he would for at least 2 weeks, but then she found out in her own way. Eddie feared that maybe he was never gonna tell you. Or now that you found out does Richie regret it? 'Alright, Alright Eddie calm the fuck down! Just go talk to Richie.' "Eds?" "Yeah Rich." "I'm gonna go." Richie's tone sounded soft, defeated. It broke Eddie's heart to see him like this. "Yeah sure I'll go grab my keys-" Richie cut him off politely. "I'm just gonna walk. I think I wanna be alone right now. I'll call you later." Richie placed a hand on the back of Eddie's head pulling him close and pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "OK. Be safe please."

"Where are we going?" You ask Stan who is driving and keeping silent. "You'll see. Um, go into the glove compartment a find the clear tape." You scrunch your eyebrows together. "You been stashing things in my glove compartment, Uris?" You found a clear tape and put it into the radio. Temptation by New Order flooded in through the speakers. A smile grew on your face as you turned the volume nob up. Stan looked over at you for a second just to see your growing smile. "I made you a tape and left it in here for the next time you complain that there's nothing good on the radio." A fit of giggles came from your mouth. "Stanley Uris made me a fucking mix-tape." You continued to laugh. It brought a smile, growing wider by the second, to see you so happy and blissful listening to your favorite music, a song he loved as well.

And I've never seen anyone quite like you before. No, I've never met anyone quite like you before.

Richie's emotions were confusing him now more than ever. He loved (Y/N). He truly did, but he just wasn't in love with her. Guilt consumes him every night before sleep and every time he sees you. He never wanted to hurt you. But when it comes to Eddie he's impulsive even a little reckless. Richie knew that he fucked up massively. Not only with you but with Stan and he even feels so with Eddie. He felt that if he just would have been honest with you before jumping into things with Eds maybe Eddie wouldn't have lost his best friend. He still couldn't wrap his head around how much of an idiot and a dick he was about Stanley. What in the fucking hell would lead him to believe that Stanley Uris of all people would fuck around with someone's feelings like that? He had already caused (Y/N) enough pain maybe he was trying to be a hero or something. Do something right for once, but of course, it was just another gigantic fuck up! Executed wonderfully by your very own Richie Tozier. Richie had noticed that he walked straight to the quarry. He picked up a stone and skipped it across the water.

Stan pulled the car over along where the road stopped and the tree's started. "Come on." Stan walked over to your side of the car and opened the door for you and held out his hand. You took his hand and walked beside him into the woods. "You trying to get me to some secret secondary location?" "What, you don't recognize where we're going?" You looked around a bit and shook your head. "Well, then I guess it will be a surprise." "I guess this is the day I get murder in the woods. Goodbye world you were never all that good to me but at least my murder is hot as hell." You almost couldn't see Stan's blush from how much he was laughing. You're hands brush as you walked close together. Stan felt a little nervous to take it, it's not like he hasn't held your hand before but right now he feels it holds so much more. 'Good' he thought to himself. 'It does mean more. Let it mean more.' He took your hand in his and warmth spread throughout the both of you. Just the two of you holding hands walking through the trees with Stan pointing out some birds to you, felt so blissful. At this moment you realized you had never felt this way with Richie. The two of you had a lot in common and play off each other well jokes and conversation-wise. But maybe that wasn't all a relationship needed. You had felt that's why Richie and you were so perfect together. Maybe this was finally the start to forgiving Richie and regaining some normalcy, realizing that maybe we weren't perfect or meant to be after all. If this is how Richie felt with Eddie you felt that you could somewhat understand why he was so in a rush to have it. It was scary how new this thing with Stan was yet how important it felt to you. You would go to the ends of the earth to protect what you had with Stan, no one in the world made you feel as safe and comforted as Stanley Uris. What Richie did, going behind your back, was in no way how he should've handled the situation. You let him into some of the most vulnerable spaces in your mind and life, entrusting him with your heart and your deepest thoughts, that you were his only person. That wasn't something easy to forgive, not something to easily recover from, especially having that trust broken with someone else with who you were very close. You may be happy and blissful at this moment, but you definitely knew the consequences of Richie's actions would come back to rear its ugly head sooner or later. But you believed that understanding was one of the first steps toward forgiveness. The more you walked the louder the sound of running water became. Soon you could even see the running water. You realized Stan had brought you to the barrens.'But why the barrens?' you thought to yourself. You reached the edge of the water and looked over to Stan. "C'mon" he grabbed your hand and stepped out onto a rock in the water. You did your best to follow, it finally dawns on you that you were headed toward the clubhouse.

When you got to the small clearing Stan went ahead and lifted the hatch to the small underground area where the losers used to hang out. "I've only been here a couple of times." You said as you climbed down the ladder. "Yeah, I guess we started hanging out other places more." Stan walked over to the hammock getting in. He smiled and reached his arms out like a little kid asking for a hug. You raised an eyebrow at him. "I know. I always feel like I'm gonna fall out of this thing, but it's safe I promise." "Okay," You say drawing out the word in a skeptical tone. You yelped as it wobbled and Stan gripped his arms around your waist as the hammock swung a little. "See, safe." You let out an amused huff and relaxed into Stan. Your back was pressed against his chest, both of your heads finding slightly uncomfortable spots in the crooks of the other's neck. "I remember one of the first times Eddie ever brought you to hang around with us was down here." Stan played with your hands in your lap. "I remember looking over and seeing you smiling, talking to Beverly. It was really hot out, your cheeks were pink. Richie gave you his shower cap and you, him, and Bill talked about comic books." You closed your eyes just listening to Stan talk softly into your hair. "Beverly came over to me when she noticed. She was joking around told me to stop staring, that it was rude. I hadn't even noticed that I was staring. I got nervous cuz, -hoping you didn't notice. You were so beautiful I couldn't help but stare." You blushed and let out a chuckle, your stomach filling up with butterflies. "I don't expect you to say back any time soon, and I in no means want to rush you, but I-" Stan paused, thinking about the impact of his words. He started to think maybe he should give you a little time, but then you leaned your head up to look at him. And when he looked down into your eyes there was no way stopping the words from falling out of his mouth. "I love you." The look in Stan's eyes was intoxicating, you could have stared in his eyes for the rest of both your lives, but instead, you brought your hand up to his jaw and tilted your head bringing yours and Stan's lips together. Equally as intoxicating as the look in his eyes. The two of you felt as if you were floating on clouds. Like you two were the only two people in the world. You pulled away and smiled, Stan pressed his forehead against yours. "I know" You and Stan laughed.

"Ok Rich. You just need to apologize. I'm sure they'll forgive you. They're your friends, basically your family." Richie walked back into town talking to himself. "And you hurt them and accused them of shitty things and now all your friends will hate you forever cuz you were a total dick and even their grandchildren will hate the name, Richie Tozier." Richie stopped for a second and groaned, rubbing his hands up and down his face under his glasses. He took a deep breath and continued walking.

Mike opened the door to Richie. "Hey man, come in." "Is Eds still here." "Yeah, he's in the living room. Rich," Mike put a hand on his shoulder. "He's worried about you. We all kinda are. There's been a lot going on with you four I just want to remind you that if you need someone to talk to we're all here for you buddy." "Thanks, man." Richie continues into the living room and sees Ben and Eddie talking. He breathes a sigh of relief, knowing how much it hurt Eddie that Ben wouldn't talk to him. They hugged and Ben got up off the couch and saw Richie. "I'm really sorry Richie. It was really rude to treat you like that-" Richie cut him off. "It's ok man really, I get it. She's your friend, I was a dick." "Yeah but you and Eddie are my friends too." "Well then what do you say Haystack," Richie extended out a hand. "Back to buds." Ben agreed and shook Richie's hand. Richie took a seat next to Eddie on the couch. "Hey, I'm glad your back I wanted to-" Richie leaned in and kissed Eddie. "As much as I love you and your adorable rambling I wanted to apologize." Eddie was suddenly very nervous. He thought to himself 'Shit this is it. He still loves Kassidy.' "Sure, Sure yeah. Umm a-about what Rich?" Richie took Eddie's hands in his fiddling with them out of nerves. "About everything. About not telling Kassidy. About not even being decent enough to break it off first so neither of you would get hurt. All of this would have been so much easier and nobody would've had to lose any friends. I'm just so sorry Eddie, I love you and I never wanted to hurt you like that." Eddie was so relieved to hear those words come out of Richie's mouth. He put a hand up to Richie's cheek and leaned to kiss him. "I love you too Richie." Richie chuckled in relief "Thank fuck."

You and Stan walked back to the car hand in hand. "So what do you wanna do now? " You leaned your back up against the car door "Oh I don't know maybe some more of this." Stan leaned himself against the car by his forearm and with his other hand lifted your chin, leaning down connecting your lips. You hummed against his lips. "Well, I do love doing that." "Do you want to go back to your place-" Stan pressed a small kiss on your neck "Watch a movie." "Shit!" Stan's head shot up. "I left my house keys at Bens." "We can sneak through your bedroom window." You push yourself off of the car, past Stan, and walked to the other side pulling your door open. "I don't wanna go back there either but with any luck, Richie won't be there." Stan groaned and got into the car.

You wrapped your knuckles on the door and Mike opened it with a smile. "I just forgot my keys." Mike let you in past him to the table where the keys sat. You quickly walked over to the table and grabbed your keys. Turning around back towards the door you catch Richie staring from the couch next to Eddie. For once you didn't feel the wind knocked out of you. But you couldn't say that the feeling of wanting to punch him had dulled any. You carried on toward the door when Richie called out your name. You sighed and banged your head on Mike's front door and contemplated for a second whether or not you should pretend you didn't hear him and keep walking. Apparently, you had stayed there a bit too long. Richie tapped two fingers on your shoulder. "I was just wondering if you would let me talk at you for a second. You don't need to say anything, or react in any way really-" You turned around and put your hands on his shoulders. He froze silent as you drew a deep breath. "I forgive you." It wasn't easy to say, you weren't even sure it was true. A part of you wanted to keep him dangling in wonder and guilt but you knew that you would eventually fully forgive him and the more you saw him moping around the more you would most likely enjoy watching him suffer for what he did. But if he just thought that you had forgiven him then maybe he would go back to his old trashmouth self and you all could move on.

Richie was taken by surprise, to say the least. He felt relief for a fleeting moment until he remembers Stan. "He's out in the car" He heard him speak softly. She somehow always knew what was going on inside his head, that's what made him think that she was so great, that they would be so great together. Against your better judgment, you grimaced and said, "I can give you five minutes. But he has the car keys so I can't promise he won't dive off on you." Richie threw his arms around you and squeezed you, "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" "Yeah, sure get off me" He smiled at you, "Sorry." As Richie walked out the door he turned back to you, "He wouldn't drive off without his best girl." Richie started making trumpets sound in the tune of 'A Long Long Time' by Kitty Kallen and closed the door. You rolled your eyes as you and Mike laughed

Richie fell silent as he walked up to your car with Stan in the front seat. He raised his hand and tapped on the window. Stan kept his stare forward and locked the car door. Richie sighed. "Stan please." Richie heard the click of the car doors unlock and walked around to the other side and got in. "I'm so sorry. I was being a complete shit of a person and totally overreacted. I do care about her, I do! That's why I got so angry and it totally fucked up my judgment." Stan wasn't saying anything and it started to make Richie even more nervous. "I was angry and confused and I honestly don't know where all of that came from. That's not what I think of you at all, you gotta know that, Stan. You're one of my best friends and the best dude I know and I'm so sorry I said all of those things. I know I really fucked up." The two of them sat and stared out the windshield, Richie's leg bounced up and down from nerves until Stanley broke the silence. "I'm sorry too. That I turned my back on you. I couldn't understand how you had the most perfect girl right in front of you and seeing you hurt her made me angry too. I mean we all saw you and Eddie happening eventually, but I didn't think you two would go and do that. I love her and I guess I let that get in the way of our friendship." "I mean dude I don't really think I could blame you. I've seen the way she looks at you. It can make someone do stupid and crazy things." "Well then I guess that explains why you are so stupid and crazy," Stan laughed, "Eddie looks at you like that 24\7." Richie turned away laughing and hoped it hid the bright red flush on his cheeks. "I can't believe she actually forgave me." "Yeah me neither, to be honest." Stanley dead-panned. "Buuut," Stan took a calming deep breath, "If she can forgive you, then I guess I should too."

Eddie walked up to (Y\N) hesitantly as she was laughing with Mike. Mike saw Eddie and took that as his cue to leave, or rather to eavesdrop from the kitchen with Beverly, Ben, and Bill.

"Thanks for uh.. for forgiving Richie, he's been a wreck," Eddie said. "N-not that I've been fine! I-I feel completely terrible for what I did. But I mean I-I-I'm not trying to make you feel bad for me or anything. O-or for Richie. I just mean that we're both really sorry. I'm so, so very sorry (Y/N)." Eddie stammered through quickly. Man, do your shoes look mighty interesting at that moment. 'You forgave Richie why is it so hard to forgive Eddie. Maybe because we only gave Richie a premature apology so we could all get back to normal? Should I have to do that with Eddie too? Fuck that neither of them deserves it!' You fought back and forth with yourself in your head before finally looking up at Eddie. You took a deep breath, "I know...I-" Eddie cut you off "You don't have to." "I feel like I should." "You already kinda forgave Richie I know that's a big thing so you can hate me for as long as you need I deserve it." You smiled at Eddie and walked out of the house. Richie saw you walking towards the car and stepped out leaving the door open for you. You got in and leaned over to Stanley cupping the side of his face to bring him closer and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Stan started the car as you buckled. You tucked your legs up onto the seat and curled up to get comfy. Stan rests his hand over on one of your legs as you closed your eye

taglist: @elisaa-shelby @trashxqueen @igotahammer @pillowjj @screechinglawyer @campcampie

[fonulyn]

So I'm reading this sad Chreon story - as one does (it's me, I'm one) - and I just had the weirdest epiphany? Like, I dunno, it's probably dumb and far from a hot take or some eye opening character analysis no one has done before but I noticed that people (including myself, so like not saying this in any kind of bad way) tend to write Leon as stand offish, apathetic, and cold. Like this story stated it specifically, said something along the lines of "this is what Leon gets for cultivating a reputation for being unapproachable, apathetic, and indifferent" and the insinuation there is that he's done this on purpose, put on this front to seem unaffected by things when in the presence of others, and I think it's pretty true for his character. Like anything post RE2, Leon is kind of. I dunno, I wanna say deadpan? He seems to express v little emotion, and when he does it's usually in the form of a quip, one-liner, or snarky come back. Sometimes awkward small talk lol. But it feels like he's built this wall, this persona around himself, not just to protect himself from losing more people (bc he probably sees it as some kind of inevitability, and with his track record I certainly wouldn't blame him), but to protect people from him. This poor man has spent so long fighting, trying to save people, and even tho he saves the day in the end, so many people get lost in the process, and Leon feels every single loss personally. Right off the bat we see it every time someone dies in RE2, then again in RE4 with Luis, who he knew for a short period of time and yet mourned so heavily for, and even Krauser to an extent. Leon is someone who is quick to trust, even as he gets older, and we see that in RE Vendetta, too. Like that's probably one of the big reasons he's so devastated after losing his team. Not only was he entrusted with a group (which doesn't happen often, as far as we have seen), but he probably put his trust in them as well, including Petrucio, the man who betrayed them. I just think Leon is such a complex character who hides so much of himself (which is convenient for bad writers at Capcom who can't write good dialogue to save their lives lmao, but I also think it's a decent part of his character now), probably so what happened in RE2 doesn't happen again. Bc that shit was probably so traumatizing, and Leon was still a baby! I'm only a year older then he was at the time of RE2 but like, as humans our brains don't finish growing until age 25, so that kind of trauma at that age is for sure gonna stick with you, and it seems he picked up some unhealthy coping mechanisms from it that's more than just his drinking problem. Anyways I guess I just wanted to rant about how Leon is the most "emotionless" character in RE but in reality he feels and cares so much, so much so that if he doesn't put up that mask of indifference then he'll destroy himself. This man would die so that others could live, he's saved the world multiple times without a care for himself past the need to finish his mission and keep as many people as possible safe. He's such a tragic character and I love him so goddamn much, like he's one of those characters who you aspire to be like, in a way. Selfless, capable, dependable, reliable, smart, passionate, caring. And some of this might be my own character building I've done based off of other headcanons and character analysis posts and stories I've seen, but I do think we see a lot of this in the canon content, too. I just really love Leon S Kennedy, okay? He makes me sad but also so so happy and I love him v much, he is a big time comfort character for me. Sorry for the rant, just needed to scream about this with someone who would understand lol 😅

oh anon, I get you, I dooo. I think that you're right in that Leon has kind of this shell around himself because it's the only way he can cope. but there are so many cracks in his shell, and he lets people in so readily even when it would stand to reason that he shouldn't trust anyone anymore. he gets attached to people lightning fast, and he'd die for them even when he's barely met them.

this borders on headcanon territory, definitely, but I tend to often write him as someone who gets attached easily and falls for people easily (be it friendship or romantic or anything), but then he doesn't know how to properly let people in because he's got his defense mechanisms, he's trying to keep himself from breaking, and what if he truly lets someone past those walls and then another disaster strikes and he never recovers from it?

and I think it shows a lot in how he's so awkward with small talk, he can throw in one-liners and dad jokes and try to keep his own (and anyone else's) spirits up with that. but oh man. beyond that? the boy doesn't know how to naturally talk to people. (even like in Infinite Darkness, with Claire, I think his "don't do anything stupid" was 100% meant to be a joke, both times, but it just didn't exactly land perfectly. poor awkward bby)

but like even though he might put up this unaffected front, he's still so very expressive? like... if you really pay attention to him? he's far from actually an expressionless and cold person. he just isn't very loud about it. (i was just going through ID screencaps yesterday and while Shen May is talking and Leon is on the background, he goes through such a journey in expressions alone :'D)

AND HE CARES. like, for example in Infinite Darkness, he sees Patrick is shaken and the first possible moment he has, he immediately asks him if he's okay and takes a moment to reassure him. they're in a hurry, he's supposed to get going and not check up on a guy he's never even met before, but he does it anyway. and I think it speaks a lot of his character. he's quick to offer support and comfort, and he genuinely tries to be there for others the best he can. he desperately needs someone to listen to him in turn, seriously. give him emotional support, damnit.

and I wanna highlight what you said:

in reality he feels and cares so much, so much so that if he doesn't put up that mask of indifference then he'll destroy himself. This man would die so that others could live, he's saved the world multiple times without a care for himself past the need to finish his mission and keep as many people as possible safe.

because yes. 100%. also this:

he's one of those characters who you aspire to be like, in a way.

like. yes. there was this one meme thing going around which was basically like asking if you feel like you're like your favorite character and I'm just. I fucking wish I was one tenth of what he is :'D

I know not even he is perfect, c'mon, no such thing as perfect people exist (not even in fiction, or if they do then they'd be really damn boring :'D). i'm not trying to claim he has no flaws, or that he never does anything wrong. he has and he does. but the amount of genuine caring he shows and how hard he tries to do the right thing? truly awe inspiring.

i just. I'm right there with you. I love him so damn much. and that's why I spend most of my time writing fic where he gets at least some of that happiness he deserves :'D i need him taken care of, damnit, and if canon doesn't give him good things then i damn sure will.

[theyreonlynoodlesmike]

It’s Just a Movie: Part 25 (Poly!Lost Boys x Fem!Reader)

<- Previous Chapter Next Chapter ->

Warnings: slight angst, violence

Word Count: 3613

School has started for me!! I was able to get the past couple of chapters out despite the first days, but with a work/school combo I’m gonna have zero time to write!! Basically, the next (and final chapters) are gonna be slower to get uploaded, but they’ll get posted soon!!!

You couldn't believe this was happening. Never in your life did you think you'd be in this situation in the first place, but you never thought that you'd be leading the Frogs and the Emerson's down into the cave either. You had made an agreement before you'd even parked Paul's bike. You weren't there to fight, you were there to talk. The Frogs, and Michael, wouldn't believe what you said until they heard it from the boys themselves. No matter how much you tried to convince them. This definitely wasn't part of the plan, but it was better than the ones the Frogs wanted to go with. You saw them clamor out of the car, and then Edgar grabbed Alan. He said,

"Weapons check." And then he was twirling his brother around to grab his pack and check him. You walked over, and grabbed Edgar, and Alan, by the back of his pack, saying,

"Woah, you are not going down there with those stakes." You knew that, peace talk or not, the boys would freak the second they saw the stakes. Especially Marko. The last thing you needed was the boys seeing that the first second they woke up. It'd be a bloodbath, and it'd be hard to defend the boys' case after that. It was Edgar that said,

"Then, we're not going down there at all." And Alan was quick to second him,

"For all we know, this could be an ambush. We are not going into enemy territory unarmed." And you fought the urge to roll your eyes from all the military talk. You sighed, defeated, and looked over when you heard Michael say,

"I don't want you going down there." Sam had already helped him out of the car, and a piece of you softened when you heard Sam reply,

"Well, I'm going." You knew, horror movie or not, their relationship was the backbone of the movie. None of this would be happened if they didn't care about eachother as much as they did, and you didn't interrupt as Michael said,

"Look, this isn't a comic book, Sam. These guys are brutal killers." And you felt the urge to almost agree with him. They were, but, as far as they knew, they wouldn't be if they killed Max. Sam quickly replied,

"So are the Frog brothers." And you looked at the two little brunettes. You watched as Edgar said,

"Check me." And Alan immediately went for the stakes. You scratched the back of your neck. As goofy as they seemed, you knew, unfortunately, that was true. But, you also knew that you weren't going to let it happen. Not this time.

"Look, who would you rather go down there with? Them or me?" To you, it was an easy choice. It seemed like this was the only thing you and Michael could agree on.

"If something happens down there, I'm not gonna have the strength to protect you." And you swallowed. You knew what line was coming, and you had to stop yourself from saying something about it.

"Well, this time I'm gonna protect you, bud. Even though you're a vampire, you're still my brother." You turned away, trying not to let the words affect you. Sam was a sweet kid, and, while you loved your boys, you weren't going to let them do anything to him. And, if you could help it, the Frogs. You looked back and snatched the knife from Edgar's hands.

"Wave this around, and I'm not gonna be able to stop the boys from making assumptions. Keep your stuff in your pack, and stay behind me. Got it?" You told them, and the brothers looked between eachother. They didn't seem pleased to be taking orders from you, and you sighed again as you decided to pocket the blade instead of giving it back to the boy. Really, they shouldn't even have this many knives anyways. You thought. You were going to need to come up with a good explanation for this, or else the Frogs weren't going to be the only ones getting chewed out. You let Edgar turn to Michael and say,

"Listen, just so you know, if you try to turn on us," He said, directly pointing at you. "Or vamp out in any way, then I'll stake you without even thinking twice about it." He said, his finger directed towards Michael this time. He added, "Both of you." And you frowned at the boy. You noted the change in dialogue, but you supposed it was a good sign. You were changing things, changing the movie. Hopefully that meant you'd changed enough to guarantee the boys' safety. But you knew that if he went around making threats like that, the boys were going to give him something to worry about. It was Sam that said,

"Chill out, Edgar." And you agreed. Everyone was going to need to chill, or else this was going to go sideways fast. 

"Yeah. C'mon." Edgar said. As you followed the Frogs down the steps, you heard Michael say,

"Where'd you say you met these guys?" And you tried to keep up with the brothers in front of you. The Frogs were supposed to lead you down into the cave, but you quickly slipped past them. You hopped down the stairs with ease, having months of practice navigating the creaking, falling apart stairway. When you went to the cave, you walked in it as one would walk in their own house. 

"Holy shit!" Edgar exclaimed, and you didn't comment. That was pretty much everyone's reaction, even yours.

"Vampire hotel." Alan commented, and you rolled your eyes as you walked ahead of them. As soon as the Frogs saw Star, you knew what was coming. You tried to grab them each by the back of their packs, but Edgar was already saying,

"Here's one. C'mon, let's stake her, man!" Michael had already seen the way they'd rushed for her, and he quickly tried his best to protect her in his weakened state.

"Don't you touch her!" He shouted, and the boys slapped away your hands. You let them go as Edgar said,

"C'mon. Vampires have such rotten tempers." And, they were running off. They ran around like two excited kids in a candy store, seeming to forget the object of their mission as soon as they were confronted with their threat. It seemed that getting them off course was going to be harder than you thought, and you quickly put two fingers in your mouth to let out a loud whistle. Like a pair of excited puppies, their heads snapped towards you. You could hear Star murmuring behind you, but you didn't know if it was your whistle or Michael that had awoken her.

"You two! Sit down over there and stay put. Sam," You said, turning towards him. You noticed that Michael was already going for Laddie, aiming to get him out of the cave after Star told him to. While you were here to talk, you didn't imagine the boys would be too upset if the two half's were gone. Well, at least, most of them wouldn't. "Watch them, okay? I'm gonna get the boys-"

"I'm coming with you." Sam quickly said, and you found a small smile developing on your face. He looked so earnest. So willing to protect. You reached out to touch his shoulder, lowering your voice. "I know you want to, Sam, but I need you to keep an eye on the Frogs, okay? If they follow me, I could be in deep shit." You told him, and, in a second, his face seemed to change. He understood what you were trying to suggest, quickly nodding. You had figured out that they apparently thought worse of your boys, way worse than you'd ever intended, but, if it helped, you were going to play into it. Plus, you did need to talk to the boys alone. 

You walked through the halls of the cave, slipping into a hallway different than the ones the boys had taken in the movie. You wandered around for a bit, listening for the sound of footsteps and purposely taking a few wrong turns just so you'd have to double back and would bump into the boys if they'd decided to follow you. You finally went to the cave where the boys slept, and you looked up to see them hanging from the ceiling. The five of you had talked about them sleeping in your room instead, but you'd pointed out that them being on the floor would make them far too easy targets. So, their room really was the best bet when it came to keeping themselves safe. The only suggestion you'd made was that they all gathered away from the ladder. Then, there'd be no way the Frogs could reach them. They seemed to have listened, and Paul had even taken Markos place as the closest to the ladder. Even then, he was still out of arms reach. You sighed, tapping your foot as you tried to think about how you'd get them down. Touching the boys was the only real way to wake them up, as they were all deep sleepers. You guessed vampirism had that as a side-effect. You cringed as you thought of one way you could wake them up, but you didn't hesitate to reach into your bag for the knife you'd swiped from Edgar. You decided on a small cut to the tip of your finger. It took a moment, but, the second the smell of blood hit them, you knew. Paul's eyes were the first to flick open, and he reached for the blonde besides him. As soon as Marko was awake, and they all knew it wasn't him that was bleeding, Paul fell from the railing. He grabbed your finger, bringing it to his mouth as he quickly said,

"What'd you do this for?" He licked the blood trailing down your finger and sucked on the wound for a moment, while the others fell from the railing in a circle around you. You answered with a,

"Well, I figured this would wake you up." And he hummed around the cut. You'd been right. Blood was a sure-fire way to get any of them to wake up. They seemed confused, but relieved. You weren't screaming, yelling, warning them that the Frogs were coming. Marko was bouncing on the balls of his feet, a smile growing on his face. He wasn't laying on the floor with a stake out of his chest. As far as they knew, it had worked. 

"What happened?" David asked, and you nearly had to yank your finger away from Paul when you felt the graze of teeth. He gave you a teasing smile, and you looked at the platinum haired blonde to do the same. A smile you only used when you were trying to get him to consider something. He narrowed his eyes.

"Well-" You started, but Marko grabbed your arm. He stopped you, and his eyes flicked towards the entrance. You took an inhale, and you mentally said, Shit. 

"They followed you." He said, his voice hollow and his eyes wide. You could see a speck of fear in his eyes, replacing the relief,  and you had to grab Paul before he went to do anything stupid, like try to walk into sunlight. They had a look in their eyes that you'd, luckily, never had to see before. Well, at least, in real life. You recognized it from the opening scene, when David had looked ready to kill that surf nazi. And again when he'd tried to grab Sam. And when Paul had tried to kill the Frogs. And when Dwayne has grabbed Sam. Hell, perhaps you'd seen it more than you thought. 

"I went to the Emerson's, and I brought them here-" You started, but that was as far as you got before David snapped,

"You what?" He asked, and you internally cringed at the tone of voice and how the room shook from the loudness of his voice. Yeah, you were in trouble. Rightfully so when you saw the look of betrayal in the shortest boys eyes. They moved for a second, and you already knew what they were thinking. You had betrayed them. Sold them out. You were going to kill them. Before they could do anything rash, you said,

"I told them that you want Max gone. It was the only way to get them to stand down, and they're here to talk." You said, and the boys stared at you in shock. You went silent, refusing to tell them anything else that may dig your grave any deeper. They stared at you, and David looked like he was about to have an aneurysm for a moment. He was pissed. But he was silent, and you could see that he was thinking.

"They're here to...talk?" David asked, disbelief clear in his voice, and you nodded. The boys stood behind him, flanking him. If it had been your first couple of days in their world, you would've been terrified. But you knew your boys, and you knew that they, at least, wouldn't do anything without David's word. "All of them?" David asked, and you nodded. Then, quickly, you corrected yourself.

"Michael is still taking Star and Laddie up to the car, but Sam and the Frogs…" You said, letting yourself trail off. They were silent, obviously not willing to fill up the silence for you. Even when you casted a glance over to Dwayne, who was seeming to try his best not to be effected by the inevitable. "They just wanna hear it from you. I told them what we planned, the whole turning back to a human thing, but Michael wasn't convinced. He thought that you guys had to be lying or have some sort of ulterior motive so- So, I gave them one." You said. The one time you needed to bank on Michael being stupid, he hadn’t been. So, you’d told him something closer to the truth. They did want their father-figure gone, just not for the same reason why. They wanted him gone because they hated him, despised him. The others thought they wanted him gone because he'd turned them, which was true, and because it would turn them back into being human. "They just wanna hear that you won't try to stop them from killing Max." You said, trying to get rid of the silence once more. All of the boys were quiet, and they were exchanging glances. You guessed that they were either waiting for David to decide, or if they were somehow communicating without you. You knew that you were just supposed to correct them and push them in the right direction, but, even then, would that have worked? What would've stopped them from hunting the boys down after they killed their sire? If anything, this was the best course of action, and you forced yourself to believe that. Finally, after a moment, David said,

"Where are they?" You had to bring the Frogs, and Sam, back into the cave simply because of the sunlight pouring inside the main room. You'd found them snooping around the cave, and you had to tell them to put down Dwayne's skateboard. You hated it, leading the boys through the tunnels that you knew so well. Leading them straight to the boys. To where they slept. Your mind replayed the look of betrayal you'd seen so clearly in Markos eyes. It made every step feel like you were trudging through wet concrete. But this was how things had to happen, and this was the only way to save them. Hopefully, it would save them. 

For a moment, you considered the fact that, maybe, despite agreeing not to, you may be leading the boys behind you to their deaths. It made a lump develop in your throat, and you prayed to whatever god you could think of that everything would turn out fine. You took them into the room, where the boys were standing near the far wall of the cave. The room was cramped, but you had long ago gotten used to the smell. Your boys towered over Sam and the Frogs, even if the tallest of the bunch, Dwayne, was leaning against the cave wall with his arms crossed. Paul was standing partially in front of Marko, the two huddled as far away as they could get. David stood away from the wall, the closest to the humans. Almost acting as a block. He glared down at the Frogs, then at Sam. Finally, his eyes shifted to you. "Well?" He asked. He didn't sound happy. He sounded almost antsy. Impatient. As if he wanted this over with. You didn't blame him.

The whole thing seemed to go by in a blur. Threats had been thrown on both sides, and you'd had to toss yourself in the middle of an altercation more than once. Edgar had muttered something about staking you for being a "traitor to your race" when you'd asked if they trusted you, and Paul had nearly exploded. He was practically vibrating as you pushed back on his chest, shouting to get his attention and to get him to calm down. You hadn't even noticed that Dwayne had already grabbed Edgar, and was holding him by his shirt until you heard the young boy start to yell. You'd managed to tear the boy out of his hands and you'd ended up screaming at both parties to knock it off. Finally, it was decided that most of the boys couldn't handle this sort of confrontation. So, the Frogs were put on timeout on one side of the inner cave, with three of your boys on the other. David and Sam stood in the middle, with you besides them to act as neutral ground. Well, as neutral as you could be. 

"So, if we kill Max, you'll go back to being human?" Sam asked, and you heard a murmur from behind him. Your head snapped to the Frogs, fire behind your eyes that got them to zip it for at least a moment. David replied,

"That's what we think." He said, and Sam furrowed his brow. That wasn't what you told them, but, David knew that lying to them completely wouldn't be well received when Max was dead. But, if they didn't know for sure, that was a different story. Plus, the look you gave him after he said it was definitely helping him sell it. From behind him, Edgar said,

"That's not good enough." But, this time, it was a snarling growl that shut them up. It had come from the smallest of the boys. Marko looked completely on edge and ready to snap. You supposed he would be, since Edgar had been the one to kill him. Sam looked over his shoulder, whispering,

"Cool it, Edgar." And you had to hand it to the kid. While he was obviously scared shitless, he seemed to be the most reasonable of the three. And the most gullible. After another moment, he said, "Even if you don't, you swear not to try to kill us? Or stop us from killing Max?" And David almost looked amused. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he glanced at you for a moment. He, now that he'd had a moment to process, seemed to find this situation weirdly hilarious. Or, maybe, it was just Sam.  "Well?" Sam pressed, copying what David has asked in the beginning of their talk. David said,

"We swear. Cross my heart and hope to get staked." He even did the motion of crossing his heart. From behind, you could hear Alan mumbling,

"Oh, you will." And you were this close to letting the boys have free range. You didn't say anything, not when David opened his mouth again to speak,

"But, you have to swear that you won't come after us. Even if we don't get turned back." He said, and an eruption of protests were heard from the Frogs. They were silenced by a single glare from David, who's face shifted into one of a monster. You could tell it scared the boys half to death, to the point where they both seemed to fall back against the wall. He changed his face back before he glanced back at the youngest Emerson. Sam had nearly fallen back, but you'd caught him by the arm. It took him a minute to steady himself and find his voice, and he straightened his blue cardigan sweater right before he said,

"You'll leave us alone? Mike alone?" Sam asked, and you watched the way David's face softened for a moment. It seemed that he had the same effect on him that he had on you. David gave him a nod, and then Sam sighed. He held out his hand, saying, "Deal." And, despite the Frogs protests, David was quick to take it. They shook on it, and then David's eyes lifted to the Frogs. He spoke again, saying,

"So, how are you going to kill him?" And Sam was quick to give up the information that his mother had a date with him that night. Tonight seemed as good as a night as any to get it over with. When Alan sarcastically asked,

"Why, you have any ideas?" David smiled. It was handsome, as handsome as the first smile he'd given you. Though, it seemed to have a chilling effect on the younger boys trapped with them in the cave. David's voice was almost charming as he said,

"We have a few."

[nightswithkookmin]

JIKOOK BE CONCEPT- EXTENDED ANALYSIS

ANON: Hey Goldy, so I want to ask, what makes you look at one moment and decide the tension in there is nothing but then in another moment you claim Jikook are having issues? I ask because of the conclusions you drew on the photoshoot video when you said they were fighting but in two other instances where we can all clearly see that the mood between Jikook is tense like Jimin's mood in the Be Concept Clip and the other interview you have said it's nothing. I don't mean this in a disrespectful way, I just want to understand your thought process if you can walk me through it. It's ok if you don't respond. I love your posts regardless. Keep it up.

Thanks for your question.

I think I try my best as much as possible to share my thought process on why I reach certain conclusions and in instances where I do not have much time to delve deeper into a conversation I state an NB indicating I would be talking further about that particular topic later on?

I think the first thing I can point out to you right off the bat in regards to your question is that we may most likely be having different understandings of tension as pertains to shipping simply because we ship Jikook in different ways.

Again, I do not mean to say my perspective is superior or that someone else's is inferior. I'm just saying we may be having different views on the topic based on the differences in our shipping styles.

To me tension is not just a sense or feeling or mood. It is one of the metrics I employ in assessing whether or not a ship is real- stay with me.

In my experience, while people may be good at hiding a relationship, they can never hide the intimacy of the relationship or the stress of keeping that relationship a secret. Secrets are stressful to keep and they leave stress trails in their wake. It's as simple as that. If any ship is real in BTS you will see its stress marks.

It's not easy standing there, watching your man's nipples being played with, or having another man grope your intimate partner for entertainment purposes while you stand there smiling for the cameras- you can smile, but it's going to be fake.

It's not easy hearing how your man sneaks into another man's shower to watch him bathe and compliment the size of his dick.

It's not easy hearing how you can't stand next to your man in a line up while another person takes that position even if it's just for work.

It's not easy pretending not to love your man, while watching everyone else love on him. It's not easy being told what you can do and not do with your partner much less by your own peers.

It's not easy hiding your love and affection for the person you love, holding yourself back from kissing them, or hugging them or doing any of the intimate stuff you are so used to doing with them- not when you have to be around them all the time.

It's not easy having cameras shoved in your face during your alone, private time with your man, when you are watching them on giant screens and they are right there next to you but you can't hold them- please listen to JK's demo Delcacomania which he released on his birthday last year and you will understand why he cried when JM flew from Paris to see him on his birthday. I cried too.

My point is, it's really not easy keeping a relationship a secret within the same work space as your partner. It's not as easy as other shippers make it seem. That shit is stressful and stress begets tensions and tensions begets conflicts- especially if there are other people attached to the parties in the relationship.

A secret gets heavy before it gets easy but you can never erase the stress that comes with hiding that secret especially not in a group as diverse in personalities as BTS. There are bound to be clashes, there are bound to be slip ups- moments where the fourth wall is breached and many others.

Stress is usually one of the first indicators of people keeping anything a secret. I've been called toxic for this, but I pay a lot of attention to conflicts and tensions within the group dynamics regardless of the degree of that tension because that conflict to me is a sign of stress.

I can tell you for a fact, any ship that is kumbaya in BTS is not real. Any ship whose existence doesn't stress out the group dynamics is a ship made in Disney heading for Never-land. Conflict and tension is a sign of stress and stress is a sign of keeping secrets.

That's not to say every single tension within the group, between Jikook or any other ship is as a result of them keeping that ship a secret. I think we can rule out all forms of contrived tensions at this point- you know which ones I'm talking about. Ain't no damn person up in there tryna steal nobody's man in BTS. The fuck?! Lmho.

Then there are those tensions that are as a result of mood swings, bad hair days, a call being delayed, a missed period- what? some of them have girlfriends, cough cough. Yea, Don't mind me.

Tension could be caused by anything really and so I think it's not enough to point out tensions but you have to try and ascertain the cause and effect of that tension to see if that tension is as a result of the stress that comes with keeping Jikook a secret or whether it is rather causing stress or going to cause a stress in their relationship dynamics-

C'mon, now y'all know if Jimin should thirst over another man that that is going cause a lot of stress not just for JK but the group as well because Jikook's mood affects them too.

Jimlous and Jeonlous are also signs of the stress that comes with keeping Jikook's relationship a secret. Let's be honest, if they were out all of those wouldn't be happening. People wouldn't cross their boundaries as much as they do.

From my perspective, both of Jikook are constantly reacting, poorly might I add, to their relationship being a secret. It seems to me they both hate what they have to do to keep eachother a secret within the group.

Jimin keeps JK a secret by acting as if he is available and JK keeps Jimin a secret by acting as if he doesn't want him- cold, nonchalant, and the way I see them I think it drives them both crazy. Lol.

Jimin doesn't want to come out but he doesn't want to be kept a secret either. He just wants to be in that glass closet whereas JK seems to want to be out or completely hidden- he is not about that middle ground life, I feel. But that doesn't mean he doesn't make compromises especially where Jm is concerned.

Jimin is very conscious and highly judgmental of himself and I think he projects a bit of that into their relationship dynamics. As such he is constantly worrying about feedback, about how their relationship is affecting the group's dynamics.

You see this in the way he runs to JK upon the least complaints by any member about JK. Like when Jin complained about JK not choosing his bag over JM's, or when RM complained about JK buying a birthday present for only JM and not the others.

Or when RM complained about JK showing a song he had written to JM first before showing it to him in a VLive- now they didn't mention who they were talking about exactly but I knew from the moment JM started reciting Jikook's go to response for whenever they are called out for constantly being together, the whole 'we just so happened to be together in that moment,' that they were talking about JK. I don't know, I could be wrong.

JM is constantly trying to mitigate Jungkook's tendencies for exclusivity in their relationship especially where it conflicts with the groups interest even though that exclusivity and preferential treatment feeds directly into his love language.

It's that kumbaya in him I keep talking about. He would sacrifice their happiness for the groups. In my opinion.

But JK aint about that life. His entire philosophy is to pursue personal happiness first. So often, you would see him weaponizing their relationship secret against JM- trying to out him and shit. which in turn, ends up causing their relationship a ton of stress.

The best illustration I can give for this is when JK posted Ending Scene in early parts of 2019 and people started speculating Jikook had broken up because it was a break up song. JM immediately responded to that post with two posts, one about the Calico cat or something and the other pointing out how that song was just a cover. Jimin hates it when JK does something to create the impression that they are not together especially when they are together.

But at the same time, he would take a step back from their relationship, ask for space to try and nurture his other relationships with friends and family when he feels JK coming on too strong on him- like Jimin what do you actually want! You drive me nuts!

What I'm trying to say is that when you point out that JM looks tensed, you should be able to explain why you think he looks tensed.

And if you think his tension goes to the root of their relationship, then you should be able to predict the consequences of that tension too. Lol.

For me, I filter their tensions through their established patterns of behavior, their personalities and the actions that arise from their personalities- listen, the Maknae line can be very melancholic for no reason sometimes. Not sure what goes on but boy can they brood!

You have to consider all these things.

Tensions are obvious, obviously. Or maybe not. Most of them are quite easy to spot. Some not so much. They do go undetected if you are not hyper focused on them in certain moments when they happen or aren't aware of the context or subtext behind such moments.

Perspective is everything. We all don't have the same perspective. But no one holds the truth when it comes to Jikook. We can only speculate in a way that holds meaning to us.

Take for example Jimin and Jin's call during Jimin's VLive in March this year. There are a fraction of shippers who do not believe that that call was intercepted by JK at all simply because they do not see the subtext of that moment. Why would JK do that and not just reveal his identity, they ask. A valid point.

Then there are those who see JK interrupting that call as plausible because they believe they can differentiate between JK and Jin's call voice. Equally valid point.

Then there's me, who think yes that was JK's voice but goes further to try and anwer the questions raised by the first group as that, JK was pushing the boundaries both with JM and Bighit for barring him from doing a live with JM.

As such, I believe that call was an act of rebellion on his part to be allowed to Jikook with his man on the VApp. All that protest would then lead to a pivotal moment of him and JM having their VLive but under heavy surveillance. Lol.

Actions have consequences whether good or bad. Whether positive or negative. It's the cause and effect principle. Every effect has a predictable cause and every action has a specific and predictable effect.

If a moment of tension is created between them that is substantial, it is going to produce a subsequent substantial reaction. Law of Newton- I can't make this shit up. Lmho.

Another moment of this nature for me would be the VMin's unit interview filmed in February/March and released in June during Festa.

Now, if you were following the tensions between V and JK around that period, the context and subtext of that Interview would be easily apparent to you- V was just shading JK left right left. Bless him.

All that random flirting with Jimin- JM lost his Mochi cheeks, his pinky has grown were just code for JM is a grown ass man now so stop being possessive over him.

I have said Jikook have been asserting themselves against eachother this year following the lows of late 2019 and especially around that time period.

For Jimin, that self assertion takes the form of checking JK's over possessiveness over him as that is a huge cause of tensions within the group throughout the years and something that I feel really bothered JM in the later half of 2019 and early half of 2020.

Why does it bother him when he used to be the one enabling that shit in JK? The members, keep up. Lol but not just the members. Remember I said earlier how, Jikook had come under heavy scrutiny with May 2019 to June this year. JM I feel wanted to keep things really on the low but JK- sigh.

Believe it or not, JK dumb whipped ass exposes Jikook more than JM does in their relationship. In the very least his possessiveness and chest puffing when anyone breathes near JM is one of the biggest tells.

We all know Tae is one of the members that have openly pointed out his displeasure with JK keeping JM to himself, cutting him off from his friends and all. Now we all know also that Jimin's pinky is a huge deal to JK. The moment he saw VMin comparing pinkies that's when he began screwing with us for real! Lmho.

JK made a big deal about JM's pinky and also seemed to have a thing for JM's Mochi cheeks too, calling him his Mochi and shit right in front of Tae's salad. Listen, TAE KNOWS. He knows!

So I found it interesting, how those parts of JM were specifically the things that V felt had changed about Jimin- I mean go back and look at Tae's facial expressions and smirk when he started talking about that. Lmho.

Then Jimin clapped back with that whole pinky line from their song Friends, pointing out how contradictory Tae was being. Lol.

To me that has always been one aspect of Tae and JK's ship dynamics that I enjoy so much. Tae is constantly teasing and shading JK and it's so subtle yet passive aggressive sometimes. you might miss it if you don't understand the context of him saying certain things in certain moments.

He don't spare JM sometimes either. Chileee. You never know with this man. Lol.

I mean did y'all catch his jab at JK during Festa when JK brought up the rain fight and he said, yea but that was a long time ago though- give it a rest. When I tell you, this man knew JK was trying to one up him over the whole dumpling fight thingy he had with JM. Lmho.

Then in that dynamite MV reaction VLive when JK and JM tried to eye fuck through the viewfinder? Let's not look into the camera he says so eloquently then side eyes JK- I LOVE THIS MAN!!! Please stay on their necks for me. They play too much! Lmho.

JK's possessiveness over JM is one of the causes of tension within the group I feel and JK have said his hyungs try to teach him not to be so possessive. Tae, RM and Suga to me are those hyungs who keep him in check the most, most times.

All that being said, just because there is tension present between them in a given moment doesn't necessarily mean it's as a result of a conflict between them as I have explained in past posts.

The inverse of this is similarly true. Truth is we can never know these things for sure. We can only speculate.

And personally, as I keep pointing out I have my own metrics for assessing these kinds of things. I get it wrong sometimes and when I do, I simply adjust my metrics and keep it pushing.

It's my own customized metrics, the lens through which I filter their interactions and make sense of their moments and It works for me. Isn't that what having an opinion is about?

I find, some of their interactions or moments follow an established pattern of behavior from their past moments and so it's much easier to call those.

For instance, you don't need a six foot page analysis to identify Jimlous or Jeonlous when you see it. You don't need a crystal ball to tell you when JK nibbles on Jimin's ear that Jimin is nervous. They did that in 2018, they did that in 2019, they've done that in 2020- to me that's become a pattern and when I see JK anywhere near Jimin's ear depending on the setting I will conclude JM is nervous and JK is trying to comfort him.

All that would be left for me to determine then is why Jimin is nervous at all in that moment and if I find he has no reason to be nervous in that instant my next assumption then would be that Jeon Jungkook is horny. I'm not kidding. Jk scares me. Lol.

Don't mind me.

He could be horny or he could be touchy, or he could be just expressing his affections through skinship. All of that is valid so I would employ an elimination approach?

I would rule out Jikook sexual foreplay in instances like that based on whether or not JK's gesture was a mission given to him by the staff based on Jimin's reaction to that gesture- He seemed pretty disappointed when he learned that JK bopping his nose was just a mission.

At times too I test out theories.

Yes, Jimin is an extrovert but does he freeze out JK when he is being an extrovert? He doesn't. We have seen him grabbing the Jeon titties in behind the scenes photoshoot, we have seen JK shove his butt in JM's dick face, we have seen 50 shades of JK grab JM's neck and dip his hand down his neck into his chest region to warm himself up. We have seen Jikook at behind the scenes photo shoots countless times. They gravitate towards eachother.

So if he is being his extrovert self with every body but JK, and JK is orbiting him but not interacting with him as they have done in the past then honestly I don't need my crystal ball to assume something is up between them. Why? Because Jikook's interactions behind the scenes aren't susceptible to false conditionings as compared to the intentional, exaggerated versions of their interactions on camera which sometimes can be laced with fanservice.

Jikook is not fanservice. Most of their behind cameras are moments of them breaching the forth wall. Like JM walking into JK's room without noticing there were cameras in the room. Their mood in there was not a performance and wasn't intended for the cameras and yet they were still close. Them taking a picture at the back of the track was equally that- unintended for the cameras.

What I'm saying is, we have seen Jikook when they are working on camera and when they are not working on camera and that mood in that behind the scenes photoshoot video doesn't fit either description of Jikook in those settings to me regardless of whether I know them personally or not.

What that moment fits into for me is a pattern of behavior that has been consistent with Jikook over the years. And I know people box JM into this whole extrovert personality but as I've said I don't believe anyone is completely extroverted or introverted.

JM to me has a certain degree of introvertedness in him and I've talked about this. He seems to have a bit of an avoidant personality too where he recoils into himself or shut people out in certain moments like how he says he drinks alone and becomes much quieter when he feels stressed out.

He doesn't open up as much about his problems it seems, he bottles it all up untill it eats him up- I'm glad he says when gets like that JK notices his mood and often comes around to do something that makes him laugh. Jimin does same for JK when he is feeling anxious- Please, Jikook is real ok?

So stop telling lies. Lol.

I think this avoidant personality becomes more prominent in moments when he fights or argues with people.

In Manila it was that moment where he noticed JK staring at him and so be moved his seat back to avoid JK's gaze. In VMin dumpling fight, it was him going out to drink with Suga after the fight- classic avoidant behavior. In Yoonmin it was him asking Suga not to touch him when Suga put his hand on his back even though Suga was sat right next to him.

In 2017- was it the behind scenes photoshoot for the billiard pool games? We saw JM literally running away from JK. Lol. He literally side-eyed the fuck out of JK, yeeted himself away from JK the moment he finished posing for the cameras. In that OT7 footage where V was playing with JK's hair, again, he yeeted himself out of there real quick at the end of filming- dude literally said deuces bitches. Lol.

And in the Jin birthday VLive 2019, he pulled away instinctively when JK's knee touched his. In all these instances, JM was keeping up the facade. Smiling and interacting like his normal slytherin/ honorary hufflepuff self but his instinctual reactions is what gave him away. In my opinion.

To me that is a pattern of behavior on JM's part. When he is angry or mad st someone- he avoids them. And it's harder if he has to be within the same space with such person.... I'll circle back to this.

All the times since 2015 when he's been 'mad' at JK he's done just that- Akekeking with everyone else, amplifying his extrovertedness, latching on to his 'clutches' within the group, all the while keeping JK at bay while stealing glances at him to see his reaction at the same time.

And when he notices how that's affecting JK- he literally smirks in satisfaction. Meet evil chim everyone- And I say this with love, he is vindictive as fuck. I mean this is the same person who didnt hesitate to kill Army in a game just for disobeying him- allegedly. Same person who said he would whoop his bandmates except of course for JK and force them to bow at his feet if he was ruler. Did y'all see Tae turning to check JM's reaction when JK made fun of his singing in run? Did you see his passive aggressive reaction to JK after that clowning?

Listen, we all should be scared of Park Jimin. He is sweet and all but fuck with him... I dare you. PJMs are gonna revoke my PJM membership are they not? Oh God! Lol

JK is similar to JM in this regard. He avoids when he is angry or edgy. Try touching him in that state and he is pulling away. He did it with Tae in the Dynamite MV behind scenes where Tae tried to touch him and he pulled away and the whole not wanting to hold hands with Tae at the KBS interview thingy- it actually broke my heart watching that bit. JK. Sigh. Will post and delete the Taekook video I am talking about as soon as I post this- out of respect for their shippers.

JK does the same to JM too sometimes when JM irritates him. Manila and also around On promo when they had that Alex Almanto whatever unit shoot- they were all having fun, there's a cut and suddenly he is pulling away when JM holds him, does the lip thingy, and glares at JM. He turns away to look at Hobi, which I just think he was trying to hide his expression from the camera lol- JM almost burst out into laughter and I nearly peed myself watching that bit- JK can be very petty sometimes. Lmho

He did the same in this controversial photoshoot. He was mad at both JM and Namjoon which explains the part he was dragging his feet when he was walking away from JM. It wasn't because he was waiting for Jimin. He was avoiding Namjoon who was walking ahead of him. In my opinion. And the part he stood with Jin and RM- JM did something hilarious JK giggled a little but turned immediately to Namjoon and when he noticed RM laughing too he stopped laughing. Then he did that thing were he put the fear of God in RM when RM stood close to JM. JK was so angry he forgot his manners when he bumped into Jin in that moment and again, like always. He looked away to avoid the scenery.

Now I don't know what had gone on there but I'm still trying to reconstruct that moment to figure it out. All I know is something went on involving those three and may be Tae too as I have pointed out in previous posts.

JM was mad at JK, JK was mildly mad at JM but heavily mad at RM.

All these things I've mentioned are patterns of behavior that have repeated over the years from my delusional point of view of Jikook's interactions and of their interactions as against the group dynamics.

Circling back to the Be concept clip and JM's mood in there, I gotta ask. Do you think Jimin's mood was as a result of the stress of keeping their relationship a secret in that moment?

It wasn't to me. Even after looking away from JK he went back to looking at JK again. When their eyes met he smiled a little. Whatever was going on with him had nothing to do with JK or their relationship. If it did, he would have been much more hostile than that and frankly JK wouldn't be sat there cheesing the way he was doing in that instance. His butt would have been on fire.

JM seemed- serene and peaceful to me. I actually enjoy him most in his moments of quiet like these.

RM's reaction to that Jikook moment however is an indication of stress to me. He seemed excited, probably wanted to play with his Jiminie but when he noticed JM had looked away his instincts was to check JK's reaction. Not anybody else, JK.

When he noticed JK was smiling at JM he dropped his hands and seemed a bit deflated. That deflation right there is one of the signs of the stress I'm talking about.

RM isn't just the leader he is their friend. Like V his bond with JM suffers from time to time due to our elephant in the room. I am often fascinated by RM and JM's friendship dynamics and would definitely love to have conversation about their dynamics.

I hope this answers your question?

Please keep supporting Jikook. Jikool is real.

Signed,

GOLDY

[roguish-gallery]

Bane Sexy Ranking Pt. 2

Main, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Low Tier (Part 2):

24. The Dark Knight Rises: I love a good dilf with a chunky tummy but he doesn’t really look like him? No hate to Hardy, but like… he’s a white actor… playing a Latino man… idk

23.  Injustice: idk why I’m just not feeling this? He just looks too tired, discolored and like… shriveled. He IS supposed to be older here (at least in his 40’s? Maybe 50’s??? The Injustice timeline is so fucked and I don’t wanna read through the lore more than I absolutely have to). I am intrigued though.

22. I am Suicide: idk. Sometimes he’s cute, and other times he’s just… eh. Sometimes his handsomeness will really shine through, but other times I can’t really recognize him. I don’t care too much for his shaved head. I WILL say though, that he spends the entire arc completely nude, and I’ll never complain about that. You get to see his fat cheeks multiple times which is pretty cool. T*m K*ng is also obsessed with having him sit on human skulls tho? In a decrepit prison?? In the nude???  I guess it looks cool? Couldn’t he get an infection from doing that? Wouldn’t that feel weird on his junk? What if he sat down on a skull’s mouth weird and he got bit on the asscheck? What if Batman saw that he had embarrassing bite marks on his fat booty asscheeks because he’s been sitting on a pile of skulls for like an entire afternoon and their teeth have been pressing against his bare skin? His ass is massive people WILL notice. He’s better than this c'mon man

21. DCeased: (TW: Blood)  To be fair, I really really hate zombie stories and I hate that they turned Bane into a zombie, so I already came into this biased. THAT BEING SAID despite the fact that his head is shaped weird, he DO pet the dogy and he protect hte babies so I unironically love him. I like how he keeps his hair a little longer in the front and sweeps it back. Honestly, the more I look at him, the more endearing he becomes. 5/10 based on his appearance, but 10/10 for personality.

Mid Tier:

20. Doom Patrol: He has like… Big Jock Energy and I have nothing but respect for that.

19. Batman Turning Points: He gives off different vibes from other Banes but I like it :) idk why they gave him white hair though.

18. Knightfall: good shit… good shit. Head kinda long though??

17. Catwoman: I read this one really late into this project so maybe I’m just desensitized but like … just kinda generic, he’s solid mid-tier though. He’s in his post-azrael coma for most of the comic arc, and watching him covered in bruises and drooling over himself makes me sad :(

16. Tabula Rasa: THEY HAVE A DIFFERENT ARTIST FOR EACH FUCKING ISSUE? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YALL THIS IS MAKING MY JOB SO MUCH HARDER FFFUCK. Still cute tho.

15. Secret Six: EASILY one of my favorite depictions of Bane. There were multiple artists working on the comic so sometimes he looks a lil awkward but I’m extremely biased and I love him in spite of it.

[toothlessturtle21]

Beer Bottle Blues

I already lost count of how many oneshots I’ve posted, oops. Welp, here’s another one! CW: alcohol, Kai being tipsy, referenced character death. Enjoy!

-----

After his boyfriend blows himself up to save Ninjago, Kai finds himself at a bar every night to try and forget his loss, even if only temporarily. However, he'll have to confront his feelings sooner than he'd like to when a certain blonde ninja shows up to tug him away from the bar countertop.

Kai drank the last of his bottle, slamming the glass on the bar counter with a quiet grunt. The room was slightly hazy, the effects of downing two bottles of beer in a relatively short time period taking its toll on his mind. He traced the woodgrain with his eyes, ignoring the bustle of both snakes and humans alike as they moved around the dimly lit hole-in-the-wall. His mind seemed simultaneously both dead and alive at the same time, thinking of nothing and everything at once.

But as he looked at his empty bottle, the condensation slowly dripping down the cold brown glass, his thoughts sharpened to the reason why he was hanging out in a seedy bar anyway. Zane was dead.

He had watched his partner of over a year, best friend in the whole world, and love of his life blow up in front of his eyes. Well, not exactly, but he had felt the rumble pass through his body as he hid beneath the sewer lid, huddling with the rest of the team for cover.

Like a coward, he told himself. He should have been the one in his boyfriend's place, Zane didn't deserve to die the way he did, especially not when he had just met another android, one that understood how he felt and experienced the world. He had spoken at Zane's funeral out of duty, knowing his boyfriend would have wanted him to honor him out of everyone. He had held it together long enough to say some words about the lovely person his boyfriend had been, but Nya had cradled him that night as he broke down sobbing in her arms.

He hadn't spoken to the team in weeks, only keeping vague contact with his sister to let her know she wasn't dead. Nya thought he was out clearing his mind around Ninjago, not wasting his nights away getting drunk in a bar, only switching up the location to keep bartenders from getting suspicious. Eventually, he had landed at one that didn't seem to notice that he was the red ninja, or at least didn't care. It was nice, to not have expectations surround you as you tried to drown out your grief with cheap beer.

Speaking of beer, he flagged down the bartender, who passed him another opened bottle with barely a second glance. He took a quick swig, and glanced around once more. A Hypnobrai was on his right, sipping a whiskey while a Fangpyre laughed with him one more seat down. It almost reminded Kai of his and Jay's antics, but as far as he cared at the moment, Jay didn't even exist.

Even thinking about his former teammates was enough to cause bile to threaten to spill, his friends a painful reminder of his lost love. He hoped there was an afterlife for the Ninja of Ice after all, maybe even with his dad. Kai thought bitterly that his creator deserved to spend a peaceful life with Zane more than Kai did, as he knew how badly Zane had grieved after his father passed once more. His mind drifted back to long nights spent awake, holding his boyfriend in his arms as Zane cried, the heartache of losing his father for the final time too much to bear.

Oh, what Kai would give for even five more minutes of holding the android in his arms.

He blinked away the new mist in his eyes, and gulped down the rest of his drink. It stung his throat on the way down, a helpful distraction from the thoughts of his former boyfriend, and the haze helped keep them away as he drank into the night.

---

Much to his surprise, the bar was not as secretive as he had previously thought. The next night, when he returned, he only had the chance to down two bottles before a hand shook his shoulder. Kai turned his head in agitation, ready to tell some drunk Serpentine to screw off, but he was greeted by a familiar blonde face.

"Lloyd? What're you-"

"You're drunk."

The blunt statement surprised Kai's hazy brain, and he blinked before answering.

"So wha-? What d'you want?" He slurred, but only slightly (or so he thought). Lloyd just quirked his mouth in annoyance and pity, tugging gently on Kai's sleeve.

"C'mon, you shouldn't be in here."

"Why?" Kai bit, trying to drain the last from his bottle, which was snatched away by the Green Ninja in a hurry.

"Stop that."

"Go away," Kai grumbled, turning away sulkily, and Lloyd narrowed his eyes.

"Kai, you're being childish. Just come with me, please."

"Why should I?" He didn't spare Lloyd a glance, and the blonde didn't respond for a few moments, the roar of the crowd around them filling both of their ears.

"I miss you," He admitted, the same hand that shook his shoulder earlier merely coming to rest on it. "It's been pretty lonely without any of you. I haven't been able to track down Cole, and Jay or his manager hasn't returned any of my calls."

"Jay... has a what now?" Kai eyeballed Lloyd's expression for any jokes, and came up short.

"I'll explain, you just gotta trust me. Please, man."

"Fine, fine," Kai slapped down a twenty, enough for both beer bottles (he had memorized the prices by now), and followed Lloyd out with a sunken expression. Outside, the night was cool, and the freezing wind was both sobering and terrifying.

"That was... quite the place you were in," Lloyd began, leading Kai down the streets, presumable to return to a less seedy part of town. "What made you end up with a bunch of Serpentine?"

"All the other bars just hounded me. That one doesn't give a shit that I was the Fire Ninja."

"You still are, y'know," The Green Ninja said quietly, almost as if holding himself back.

"Huh?"

"You're still a ninja. Just because we're down one doesn't mean we can't still be a team-"

"It's not a team without him," Kai interrupted, surprised at how quickly emotions leapt out, clogging his throat. "Never will be."

Lloyd was quiet after that, simply walking beside Kai, deep in thought. The brunette sighed heavily, turning towards Lloyd when his voice was no longer threatening him with a puberty-worthy crack.

"I know you don't know what it feels like, kid, but I can't go back after all that."

"I miss him too, Kai. He was one of my best friends. I can't imagine what it's like for you," Lloyd tried not to let his pity show too much on his face, but he obviously failed, as Kai rolled his eyes playfully and pulled the blonde in for a side hug.

"Alright Green Bean, I'll bite. Where're we going?"

"Home," Lloyd grinned, and Kai knew he couldn't turn back now. "Uh, I have some leftover takeout, if you want it."

"You pulled me out of a bar just to shovel greasy shit in my mouth? Real healthy there, Lloyd," Kai teased, and Lloyd laughed, and it almost made Kai happy for a split second before his heart sank once more.

"Wait."

Kai stopped in his tracks, and Lloyd turned around from a few paces ahead.

"I- I can't go back. That means seeing his old room. Nobody's touched it since, right?"

"I know I haven't," Lloyd gnawed on his lip, guilt chewing at the corners of his mind. "Same with Nya. We just can't stand even knowing it's there."

"I just can't," Kai shook his head, not moving from his spot on the pavement. "I'm not ready."

"It's been a month," Lloyd stated blankly, not intended as a jab. The words hung in the air, and Kai blinked slowly.

"Already?"

"Yeah."

More silence. Each ninja stared at the other, Lloyd waiting for a continuation, and Kai not sure how to move forward.

"I think alcohol is gross," Kai stated, and the Green Ninja looked surprised, but let his friend continue. "But it helped me not think during the night, which was when I was at my worst before. I didn't like thinking."

Lloyd hummed in sympathy, taking a step towards the Fire Ninja.

"Nya still thinks I'm off in the mountains somewhere," Kai chuckled humorlessly, his eyes meeting Lloyd's as a chilly wind tousled their hair. Kai both relished in and despised the cold that it brought with it. "Also, bars are warm. It's not exactly the beach out here. Being cold just doesn't sit right anymore."

Lloyd stepped forward again, wrapping his arms around Kai for a fragile hug. Kai returned it hesitantly, relieved when the heat of the Green Ninja's body was so different to the cold one he was so used to being close to.

"I miss him, Lloyd," Kai buried his head into tufts of blonde hair, reveling in the physical contact that he didn't realize he needed. "I just want him back."

Before Kai knew it, he was crying. Lloyd was holding him close under the street light they happened to be standing under, rubbing gentle circles into Kai's back as he poured his heart out into Lloyd's shoulder. It hurt the Green Ninja to see his friend in such a state, even with the knowledge of why he was such a mess.

As the crying waned and Kai's tears slowly turned to puffy eyes, he brought his head up and wiped at his face, red sleeve scratching at the sensitive skin.

"So," He choked out a small laugh, looking back towards the direction that Lloyd was leading him in earlier. "You said somethin' about Jay having a manager?"

When Kai had first read the note that Zane could be alive, he didn't know how to feel. On one hand, he was elated at the possibility that his lover could be out there somewhere, but on the other, the higher he let his hopes climb, the harder they would fall if it wasn't true.

Any doubts he had in his mind were thoroughly demolished once he saw his boyfriend standing next to Cole in the hot island sun. Zane scanned the surroundings, his now glowing blue eyes drinking in the people around him before they settled on Kai, the two holding eye contact for a moment before Kai broke into a sprint, flinging himself at his boyfriend, who caught him and held him fast.

Kai couldn't help it, he wrapped his arms around Zane's waist and buried his face into his chest, all of his pent up nerves and stress from the last while manifesting in happy sobs into Zane's prison clothes, his ever-gentle boyfriend pressing kisses to his forehead to guide him through it.

"Don't ever do that again, you fucking idiot," Kai mumbled into his shirt, and Zane laughed, the vibrations rumbling through Kai's body.

"I missed you too, Kai."

Although the two were broken apart shortly after to find their way off the island, they stayed close, Kai promising both himself and his partner that he would pamper the hell out of Zane for a week straight once they reached home, and the Ice Ninja smiled warmly at his boyfriend all the while.

[concussed-to-pieces]

The Mettle Of A Man; Part Twelve

Fandom: Fallout (4)

Pairing: Eventual Paladin Danse/Female Sole Survivor

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Enjoy!

Part One: ArcJet

Part Two: The Prydwen

Part Three: Orders

Part Four: Finding Brandis

Part Five: Weston Water And Oberland

Part Six: Meeting Preston And Matthew

Part Seven: Radstag And Radstorm

Part Eight: The Return To Sanctuary Hills

Part Nine: Domestic Ruminations

Part Ten: Institutionalized

Part Eleven: Two Weeks, Three Days

[!TRIGGER WARNING!: This installment contains a brief scene of attempted sexual assault. Stay safe!]

Mark twenty-eight nuclear warheads .

  Backhand squinted down at the paper, up at Ingram and then back at the paper. "Oh, is that all?" She asked sarcastically. "What, you don't want me to grab milk and eggs while I'm out?"

  " Easy , smartass." Proctor Ingram laughed. "We know the general location. All we need is for you to sweep the area, get rid of hostiles and secure the payload. Simple!"

  "Yeah? Where's the general location then?" Backhand challenged.

  Ingram spread the map out on the desk, tapping the area circled in the lower left hand corner. "It's a military site, Prescott I think? One of our scribes was able to triangulate it using the documents you and Danse scooped from that veteran housing development."

  "In the Glowing Sea." Backhand groaned. "I had kind of hoped to never need to go back out there." I'd better start getting some damn perks for all the legwork I'm doing , she thought uncharitably.

  " Theirs not to make reply, theirs not to reason why, theirs but to do and die ." Ingram quoted at her, laughing again when Vega grumbled under her breath. "C'mon Vega, you're like the Brotherhood's poster child for Commonwealth recruitment. Where's your Ad Victoriam spirit? You have to spearhead this, if only for the eventual publicity."

  "Ah, the press ." Backhand retorted. "Who's my backup, then?"

  "Your sponsor, obviously! Though I'm guessing after this you'll be welcomed into the fold for real." Ingram mused, her expression thoughtful. "Danse seemed better when I saw him last. I think the time off the Prydwen has really done him some good."

  Vega tried to hide her flush of pride, quickly asking, "Other than the lack of big boomers, how is Prime looking?"

  "Pretty good, I'd say! It was a real stroke of luck that you got us Madison back, even if working with her makes me want to set my pubes on fire." Ingram answered frankly. "We're both too stubborn to function well together, but sometimes we can shut up and actually get shit done. Those are the times I believe we might have a shot here."

  "Your confidence is overwhelming." Backhand said dryly. 

  The other woman gave her a lopsided grin. "I've seen too many ops go south to put all my eggs in one scientist's basket, Vega. At least we'll have the numbers of the Minutemen on our side in case Prime can't get off the ground."

  "Has Quinlan had any luck getting that information unscrambled? My buddy hit a dead end pretty early on with the encryption, and he's dying to know whether he actually helped or whether it's all junk data." 

  Truthfully Sturges had gotten much further than either of them had expected (the fact that he knew there was data on the tape at all was a miracle), but Ingram didn't exactly have to know that. The older woman's sigh didn't sound overly promising though.

  "Nothing yet. He and his scribes have been working as close to around the clock as they can get without disrupting Cade across the way. It's always a process in close quarters." The proctor hummed. "With any luck, maybe a few more days?"

  "I'll keep my fingers crossed." Backhand promised. "I know it'll probably all be considered confidential information, but still."

  …

  "No."

  " Excuse me, Paladin?" Arthur snarled.

  Danse stood by the door to the elder's quarters, his posture perfect. "I said no, Elder Maxson." He repeated. "I will not be engaging with you any longer." 

  "Dare I ask what has brought about this insubordination? " The younger man queried.

  Danse stood firm. "This is not insubordination, Elder Maxson. You have exploited me long enough and I refuse to let you continue."

  "I'll have you exiled, Paladin." Maxson threatened. "One word from me and your status goes up in smoke. We are on the brink of war with the Institute and you wish to weaken our ranks? You're a good soldier, Danse. Don't make me send you away."

  Danse shook his head. His hands, clasped at the small of his back, trembled nervously until he clenched them into fists. "I'm sorry, Elder Maxson, but I refuse to allow you to manipulate or abuse me any further." 

  "Are you disobeying a direct order from your elder, Danse?" 

  "I am simply-"

  A knock on the door to Maxson's quarters interrupted whatever Danse had intended to say, and a split second later Knight Vega poked her head around the door. "Apologies, Elder Maxson." The woman said with a salute. "I was unaware that you two were having a discussion. Paladin, we are departing in ten minutes."

  Arthur jerked his head to the side to indicate that Elizabeth should leave. " Get out , Vega." He barked. 

  She hesitated and Danse closed his eyes in defeat, knowing that he was screwed the second she departed.

  He heard the door close and Arthur was abruptly on him, one hand gripping the paladin's throat to force Danse's head against the wall as he tore at the zipper of the other man's jumpsuit. "You are going to fuck me, Danse, so I suggest you warm up to the idea." Maxson hissed against his ear.

  Danse felt nauseous, dirty as Arthur pawed at him. Say no, damn it! What's wrong with you?

  The only warning either man got was a barely-audible knock on the door before Paladin Brandis barged in. Arthur whirled on the older man, murder in his eyes for the barest second. " Brandis! " Maxson roared. "How many-"

  "I have sixteen new aspirants seeking to rise to knight or scribe, Elder Maxson!" Brandis waved a sheaf of papers at the younger man. "I also have seven squires who believe they are ready for evaluation to ascend to aspirant. Oh, was I interrupting something?" He remarked, blinking in a befuddled manner at the clearly-furious elder.

  Maxson stared back at the older paladin, his chest heaving. "Don't think for one goddamn second that I don't know exactly what you're up to, you old fool!" Arthur's blue eyes were fairly crackling with rage. 

  "Me? The only thing I'm up to is trying to get this paperwork taken care of." Brandis protested blandly. "You're so suspicious , Maxson. It won't do you any favors." Brandis seemed to finally notice Danse standing there slackjawed and the older paladin began to scold, "zip up your uniform, Danse! We're a military , not a frathouse!" His eyebrows raised, all but begging Danse to take the opening and flee.

  Danse gulped and floundered to apologize, zipping up his suit. He caught the barest glimpse of Maxson's thunderous glare before he turned tail and bolted. The cowardice burned at him, but really, what else could he do?

  He shouldered past Vega lurking just outside the door, and stormed down the catwalk to the grease pit without a word.

  Their aerial approach to the Glowing Sea was silent and riddled with turbulence. Danse could identify the territory of the area from a fair distance away, the way the radiation tinged the sky to a sinister yellowed bruise a sure indication.

  Waypoint Echo was precariously positioned on the very edge of the Glowing Sea. Danse felt a fair amount of trepidation as he and Knight Vega approached the area after they disembarked the vertibird. He had never ventured into the Glowing Sea, but he supposed there was no time like the present.

  He was glad to at least find a familiar face, although Haylen didn't appear happy to see him and Vega. The scribe looked tense, wary. Danse supposed he could understand that; the post was much less than favorably placed. They were only just outside the heavy haze of radiation, and the radstorms weren't inclined to remain stationary for too long. To say nothing of the deadly creatures that tended to emerge from the area and wander north. Waypoint Echo was not a hospitable assignment by any stretch of the imagination. 

  His scribe had never searched for the easy jobs. Danse felt a wave of pride for the woman he had sponsored back when she was nothing but an initiate. Haylen had rolled with the punches and become an admirable scribe, a loyal friend and an incredible asset to any team she joined. "Scribe Haylen!" He greeted her warmly with a salute. "Ad Victoriam. Another day, another assignment."

  "Paladin Danse," Haylen addressed him through gritted teeth, oddly not returning his salute. "Can I get a word with you before you depart? It's urgent." She was already grabbing his arm before he even nodded, the scribe leading him away from the camp. Knight Vega was listening intently while the other field scribe briefed her on their current situation and any observations they might have made.

  "Scribe Haylen, is something amiss?" The paladin asked, a little concerned once Haylen had moved him out of earshot of the encampment. 

  The petite woman whirled on him, looking more furious than Danse had ever seen her. " How could you not tell me?" She hissed. 

  Danse stared at her, bewildered. "I...what do you mean, Haylen?"

  "Don't play dumb with me, Danse! Quinlan got the list decoded. He knows . Maxson knows. Hell, maybe even Vega knows! Maybe she's leading you into a trap right now." Haylen took hold of his gauntlet once more. "Danse, you have to run ."

  "Haylen, I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about." Danse replied, thoroughly puzzled. What would Quinlan decoding the Institute information have to do with him?  

  Haylen's fingernails scraped at the worn red-orange paint denoting his rank as she gripped down even tighter. "Danse, you...do you really not…" she appeared to be trying to ask something, but couldn't seem to amass the words.

  "Take your time. Get your mind straight." Danse said kindly. "Whatever it is, I'll hear you out."

  She sobbed suddenly, her small frame rattled by the outburst. "Oh Danse , I'm so sorry." She whispered.

  …

  Backhand lingered on the edge of the camp, half-watching Haylen appear to argue with the paladin about something. Trouble in paradise? she wondered, turning the distress pulser for their endeavor over in her hands before she tucked it away in her satchel. 

  "Man, I guess whatever Rhys passed along to her earlier really has her in a twist." One of the other scribes commented. "I dunno' if I've ever seen her this heated."

  Danse thundered back towards the camp, leaving Haylen to call his name plaintively. "Ready to continue our mission, soldier?" He gritted the words out at Backhand. 

  Backhand raised an eyebrow at his sudden change of mood, but then recalled what she had interrupted earlier that morning and reasoned that he had more than every right to be a little testy. The woman simply nodded and fell into step behind him. "See you guys soon!" She said to the soldiers occupying Echo, waving in farewell. Haylen didn't wave back, the scribe looking wholly dejected. 

  Was she crying?

  "Hey Danse, is Haylen alright? She seemed upset." Backhand inquired after they had been walking for several minutes.

  "We had a discussion." was all Danse said in reply. His tone didn't exactly encourage further questioning, so Backhand decided that she should probably, maybe , just this once, not attempt to converse.

  "Sorry, didn't mean to pry." She mumbled. 

  "I'm certain you didn't. But we can't afford to be distracted on this mission." Danse instructed firmly. "There's too much at stake, Knight Vega."

  "Oh, absolutely!" Backhand agreed. 

  "I need you to take point during this engagement, as you're the one who knows where we're going." Danse paused, letting her come up alongside him. "We can't lose sight of what's important. If we do, the Institute has already won." 

  The paladin, in spite of his words, seemed out of sorts. Spacey , even. His grip on his rifle was uncharacteristically slack, especially considering how hostile their environment was. 

  Backhand was reminded of his behavior during their search for Brandis and she said as much, prodding the paladin to respond. "I'm fine. Just...thinking," he muttered. "I apologize, I'm not very good at following my own orders. I lecture you on distraction while also being distracted."

  "After this campaign is over, I vote for a little R and R. The proverbial run ashore. Sound good to you?" Backhand asked, tilting her head.

  Danse cleared his throat. "I wish I had your optimism." He said plainly. "Once the Institute hears we have these munitions, assuming the bombs are even here in the first place, it will be all-out war. I'm not so foolish to think they'll surrender or melt back into the shadows under the threat of our superior firepower. They will demand a live test." The paladin gestured vaguely around him at the blasted landscape. "I know for a fact that Maxson won't stop until the Institute is nothing but a fractured husk. The idea that there are innocent people down there, good people who will be slaughtered with the bad…" He shook his head. 

  "It's sobering." Backhand murmured in agreement, not sure why she was surprised by the paladin's display of humanity. She had been in and out of the Institute over the last few weeks, building a rapport with the various scientists and synths and also passing along pertinent information to the Brotherhood. All the while Shaun pressured her to take over his position, " before I am gone, Mother. " She hadn't known that Danse was actually listening to her field reports.

  "It's grotesque entrapment. People who wanted a better life, people who wanted to help the world, people who thought they were helping." Danse sounded disgusted and strangely upset. "Bodies snatched in the middle of the night, or lured in by the lie of bettering mankind!" He had turned to her as he ranted, his pauldrons rising and falling rapidly from the force of his body against the frame of his armor. "He's your son , Vega, how could he--"

  "He's not my son anymore." Backhand cut him off, stung by his heated words. "The man who leads the Institute may be related to me through biology, but he is not my son, Paladin Danse." She heaved a sigh, looking away. "I guess he really never was, in a way. His father...his father told me he wanted children. Once I got pregnant, though, it was like the reality of it became too much for him." Her laugh was a sad noise, mirthless and hollow. "And if he thought it was too much, imagine how I felt. I didn't really have a lot of agency in the matter, I just wanted to make him happy and when I realized that not even that could make him happy, I kind of lost it. Hence the divorce and stuff. I loved that baby more than anything in the world, but I know that I wasn't a great mom. I was in way over my head. Scared. Terrified . Alone. And then...then he was taken from me. Just like that."

  "Knight Vega, I...forgive my outburst, please. I didn't mean to imply that any of this is your fault." Danse mumbled. "I simply...I-I mean, I see you, the way you interact with the people of the Commonwealth, and I can't wrap my head around the fact that someone even tangentially related to you could be capable of such...heinous machinations."

  "I'm a byproduct of the Great War, Paladin Danse." Backhand smiled thinly. "A relic from times of pretend plenty. The Institute raised Shaun, shaped him into their perfect leader. He doesn't understand the struggles of the real world. He can't understand the ugliness of war, not like how someone who lived through it can." 

  "You would think the perfect leader would want what's best for his troops." Danse remarked.

  "He's dying , Danse. The only reason he thawed me out again is because he's dying, and the Institute wanted me to take over." Backhand confided, scoffing a little. "Can you even believe that shit? His board of directors really thought my altruistic, bleeding-heart ass would take over their body-snatching extravaganza. Hell, they seem confused every time I tell them to fuck off."

  "You turned them down?" 

  The bewilderment in his tone caught Backhand by surprise. " Yeah , Danse. Obviously."

  "The promise of returning the Commonwealth to its former glory wasn't enough to sway you?" The paladin queried, his voice laden with that rare sarcasm he employed. 

  Backhand chuckled wryly. "Did you forget the part where I've seen the Commonwealth at the peak of that former glory? It wasn't better. It was just a little less irradiated." She thumped her pauldron against his own after a moment. "Hey, I'm with you, okay? No matter what happens, we'll get through this and enjoy that sweet off-time." She promised. "I know you can't see, but I'm definitely smiling under here."

  "I can tell." Danse lapsed into contemplative silence, and Backhand wished she could see his expression. Something, anything to clue her in as to what he was thinking about. 

  They passed a crashed plane, the trail of wreckage from it extending well past Backhand's limited field of view. Danse tuned into its distress signal like a reflex, and Backhand half-listened to the mayday broadcast of Skylanes one-six-six-five. 

  "... left engine failure, we're out fifteen three at this time …"

  The plane had been coming in the day the bombs dropped. Due to its location in the Glowing Sea, Backhand could only assume no one had survived. She almost wanted to ask Danse to turn off the broadcast, but the signal quickly petered back out into static as they carefully descended the ridge past the plane.

  The shattered remains of sparse buildings jutted from the caustic ground like the incisors of a gargantuan beast, offering a semblance of shelter only to roving feral ghouls or ambitious mole rats.

  It was a man-made hellscape, awe inspiring in its grim misery, and Backhand felt like she understood Danse's taciturn mood a bit better now.

  Abruptly, a towering monolith was brought into sharp contrast against the green sky by a sullen flash of lightning. Backhand swallowed, unnerved by the stark stone structure that loomed up out of the wan light like a dark pyramid to a forgotten, terrible deity.

  She tried to shake off her fanciful thoughts, scolding herself for being so easily influenced. This wasn't some silly story, some maniac rumination on the subject of doomed expeditions and places where man shouldn't go. This was just one more thing that humanity had built.

  "And here we are." She announced needlessly. "You ready?"

  "My power armor is within nominal parameters, so I would say I'm as ready as I'll ever be." Danse replied simply. 

  Working together, they muscled the double doors open and cautiously made their way into the pyramid-like structure. Backhand grimaced at the bank vault-esque door that greeted them, raising an eyebrow and cocking her helmet at Danse. "I'll bet...fifty caps that I can just give this a spin and it'll bust wide open." She said confidently, resting a gauntlet on the handle.

  "Nice try, Vega." The paladin replied, his tone dry and humorless. "Don't forget we have a job to do."

  Vega grumbled to herself and spun the handle, watching the ancient tumblers creak and separate before the door slowly swung inwards. "Bingo." She breathed, stepping gingerly out onto the old catwalk. "Shit, it looks like ArcJet in here."

  "Remarkably similar." Danse agreed. "Be very cautious about what you shoot in here, we don't know what will explode. And remember to check your corners. I don't want to lose you to something we don't see." 

  Backhand swallowed hard, saluting while inclining her head to indicate that she received and returned the order. "Ad Victoriam, Paladin Danse."

  "Ad Victoriam, Knight Vega." 

  Silence hanging heavy in the air, Vega plodded down the rickety stairs of the catwalk. She briefly debated just hopping the railing and taking the plunge, but ultimately decided against it. The stiff gusts of wind from the door had stirred the centuries of dust into a thick haze, and warning lights still spiraled in amber circles, casting disorienting shadows over everything.

  "It would appear that this facility was converted into a launching silo as well." Danse commented, gesturing at the large gantry-like structure that took up the majority of space in the middle of the pyramid. 

  Down, down, down they went, past multiple security doors. Feral ghouls rose to greet them, some still clad in the tattered remains of army fatigues. 

  "I've had nightmares like this." Backhand admitted during a brief moment of reprieve while she painstakingly tapped away at the keys of a terminal. "Sergeant Cathan and the rest of my squadron turn into ferals and I have to put them down." Danse's heavy gauntlet landed on her pauldron, squeezed once, and then departed. "I know it's dumb to be worried about. They've been dead for…" Vega trailed off, finally getting the double blast doors open and turning off the weakly buzzing alarm in the same stroke. " That's it." She said in relief. 

  Danse took point during this secondary half of the expedition, the paladin staying unusually quiet. Backhand chalked it up to him focusing more on his targets, lest a stray laser hit one of the caged warheads. 

  Down into the bowels of Prescott they trudged, soldiering onwards through tunnels made tight by the bulk of their power armor. The headlamp on Danse's new helmet illuminated the cramped, half-collapsed areas as he scanned from three to nine and back again.

  "Left up here." Backhand broke the silence, directing him through a hole in the wall to circumvent a rubble-filled dead end and then overtaking him when he paused to check his rifle. "We should still be able to pick up the tunnel around this junk."

  "Affirmative." Danse replied shortly. "I would advise that we not attempt to clear any debris. We don't know what will collapse on us."

  Vega grimaced, "good point. That's why you're the paladin." Oddly, he made a scoffing sound, but she dismissed it as him being sarcastic again.

  When the tunnel finally opened up into an enormous room, Vega breathed a little easier. Ahead of them loomed a massive set of red double doors, tarnished with age but still holding strong. What appeared to be a control room was situated over the doors, and Backhand quickly spotted the stairs that would lead her upwards.

  The body sprawled across the top of the stairs gave her pause, however. It wasn't a feral ghoul, but a Child Of Atom. Backhand glanced up to the door to the control room, then back down at the body. 

  Up. Down. Up again.

  And she continued over the body, one massive gauntlet knocking comically gentle on the door.

  "Enter." Intoned a voice from inside the room. Behind her, she heard Danse's rifle hum as he primed it.

  " Easy , cowboy. Let me see if I can get this settled peacefully." Backhand whispered. She had no idea whether Danse had heard her or not, but she prayed he had as she set sabaton into the room. 

  The Children Of Atom had always been a ragged-looking bunch, their lives dedicated to the pursuit of " the Glow " and worship of what they called " the Great Divide ". This man was no exception, though the room was also occupied by a turret and assaultron. Two things no one wanted to deal with in close quarters.

  "Halt, stranger. You stand upon Atom's sacred ground." The religious fanatic announced grandly. "Speak your business or be divided where you stand."

  Backhand mused over her reply for a moment, finally stating, "we seek the Glow of Atom, my uh, brother ."

  " You? " The man scoffed, "you, who slaughtered Atom's most faithful as you stormed this compound?"

  "We sought to release them to Atom's embrace. Return them to the universe to be...divided anew. After all, matter cannot be created or destroyed, only repurposed," Vega replied smoothly, "as dictated by the Law of Conservation of Mass, writ by his most holy eminence Antoine Lavoisier." 

  "Ah, I see you are a scholar of the sacred texts as well!" The man remarked, a smile crossing his stern features. "Forgive my ignorance, sister. When I saw your armor, I feared that you came to destroy this holy ground." Backhand blinked behind her helmet. That had been strictly high school science bullshit, but she would take the victory. "I assume you wish to bask in Atom's Glow then, as one of his faithful?"

  "We seek to spread Atom's glory via the use of these munitions." Backhand explained. "Our organization requires these vehicles to distribute Atom's might. Please, permit us to utilize them."

  "You will put them to good use? That is all we can ask for!" The Child Of Atom's eyes filled with tears of what Vega could only assume was gratitude. "I had thought we would stand guard over this holy ground for all of time. Please, take this and prepare to enter His inner sanctum." He took her gauntlet and pressed a scrap of paper into it, gesturing at the worn-looking terminal on the table beside the sputtering turret. "Follow the brilliance of the Glow, and it shall lead you to the relics. May Atom's radiance warm your soul." He breathed, those teary blue eyes focused on the visor of her helm. 

  Vega inclined her head respectfully, praying that Danse would stand aside and let the man depart without a fight. Clearly she needn't have worried; the paladin obligingly shifted the bulk of his armor out of the way so the religious zealot could leave the room peacefully. 

  "' His most holy eminence' ?" Danse repeated, his tone wry. "You certainly have a gift, Knight Vega." 

  Backhand grinned under her helmet, reading the password off the scrap of paper and then carefully punching it into the terminal. "What can I say? A little diplomacy and a healthy sprinkling of mumbo-jumbo goes a long way." With a simple keystroke, the massive doors creaked open. The woman bowed as best as she could in her armor. "Shall we?" 

  Danse appeared to have returned to his silence, simply nodding and walking back out of the room.

  What's gotten into him? Backhand wondered.

Part Thirteen

[lexicals]

Liner notes for An Echo, An Answer

Okay let's give this a go I guess? I may add more to this if I remember things too lol

Fair warning this is an exceedingly long post. It has ~subheadings~ (ooh). These cover: 

Fun Facts

Notes about mira

Notes on actual writing/plot

Post-canon tidbits (to be supplemented by actual post-canon oneshot coming maybe not soon but definitely at some point probably)

Needless to say this contains some BIG OL’ SPOILERS. Please enjoy o:

Some general Fun Facts™:

When I posted the first few chapters of this fic, I didn't have a fucking clue where it was going. I didn't even know how kravitz died until I'd already posted like 10 chapters lmao. This was a stressful way to write and I am never doing that again

In terms of inspo, I remember there being a fic in which taako was a ghost and kravitz was a medium (if anyone knows what fic this is PLEASE tell me I cannot find it) and I think I subconsciously took inspiration from this. Also I’d already written a vampire au and I wanted more undead boyfriend shenanigans, I looove playing with the liminal aspects of kravitz being a dead-but-not-dead character

There was a goof version of this fic where kravitz wasn't from the 1900s at all and died in like. The early 2000s or something. He died having come back from/at a costume party, people assumed he was an actual ye olde victorian ghost, and he decided to just lean into it. Cue fake accent. This was scrapped mainly because I loved the ‘sleepy hollow’-esque man-out-of-time shenanigans way too much and also because I know very little about the early-2000s US but do you know what I do know a moderate amount about? 1900s england

I have not read the cask of amontillado and I did not know what it was until seeing the memes, which was after I wrote the basement body twist. I just wanted to have a cheesy secret basement behind a bookcase c'mon it's a murder mystery in an old spooky house let me have this

Anyone who's followed my content for a while probably knows that I'm a big trans kravitz stan, but I dithered over making him trans in this fic a Lot. This was mostly down to self-doubt abt a story ft. a trans man living as his preferred gender in that time period would be deemed "unrealistic" but in the end I said fuck it I want this & I think that was the correct move. Also I read a fair bit about absolute legend dr james barry & that made me a bit more confident about committing to the decision bc these people did exist & they deserve their rep

You may notice that all of the major OCs created for this fic are women. This was an accident but also I stand by it bc I think it helps to balance out the fact that so much of the ‘screentime’ is being dominated by the male leads (inc. angus, who probably has the 3rd most screentime after taako & krav). They’re also all just, absolutely indomitable people. I have a type when it comes to OCs. Speaking of:

Notes on mira:

Mira was very much a character created to serve a purpose, but she ended up becoming a lot more than that and I'm glad people warmed up to her while reading as much as I did while writing. She wasn't going to have anywhere near as much screen time initially as she did in the end but I just loved her & how her relationship with kravitz turned out so much that I ended up writing a bunch of snippets with the two of them just for me, which eventually turned into the fragment chapters because I wanted to share how gd cute they were. Also they ended up being pretty useful for plot too lol

She and flossy were actually kind of the same character to begin with, being kravitz's best friend who he lived with in a kind of lavender marriage with neither of them interested in the other but being happy enough being friends & pretending. I scrapped this pretty early for a lot of reasons but she was still the cause of his death in that version, whether or not she actively killed him. I think there was a gambling debts element at some point

Whatever iteration of the story, she was always going to be the cause of death. I ruled out actual murder pretty early on because I didn't want to tell a story about a gay, black trans man getting murdered in cold blood in his own home, which in a ghost story only really leaves manslaughter, and an accidental killing by a loved one was an idea that followed pretty hot on the heels of that decision - it's very sad, but there's no hatred behind it, so it's not too outright depressing for what is most likely an audience with a high population of marginalised people. That bittersweetness of tone - sad events, but almost always with loving intentions behind or around them - ended up being a real touchstone for the story as a whole

In terms of post-canon content for her, or I guess just stuff that wasn't mentioned in-fic lol, my idea of how her life played out is that she was a pretty solid pillar of her community for a very long time. She took what kravitz said about thinking about what she wanted to add to the world very much to heart, and her answer was for her to be to as many kids and vulnerable people as possible what kravitz was to her. Obviously in the end she poured a lot of herself into helping others out of guilt for having killed a man who she likely remembered a little rose-tinted, but the intent was always there before that too

I don't know how much this came across in the actual text but mira is mixed race (Black/white), though she is Black-coded in terms of how people see and respond to her (please tell me if I’m using these terms incorrectly). I downplayed a lot of the racial elements of this fic bc I don’t feel like it’s my place as a white writer to delve into those areas, but it is an element of her story that ties into anti-miscegenation laws and general societal attitudes and I didn’t just want to entirely gloss over those aspects, bc that wouldn’t be right of me either, so I can only hope the balance ended up working here, and for kravitz’s story too. I did a lot of the writing for mira’s story before even really thinking about this angle which is something I’ve learnt from now bc oh boy should I have thought about it sooner lmao........

Anyway. I love her. I’m very glad that other people love her too

In terms of story writing:

I used to watch A LOT of crime dramas when I was younger, and got so familiar with the structure of them that I used to predict who the killer was going to be about a quarter of the way into them almost every time. Most of the time the killer is someone introduced early on as someone fairly innocuous, but still notable, before the narrative doubles down on a red herring suspect who's proven innocent about 3/4 of the way through, paving the way for the real twist killer. You see where I took my base structure from here

So, mira is introduced early on as someone important to kravitz, who was involved in his life (& death) somehow, but in general she's more suggested to be a victim than a culprit - because of course she is, she’s a child and she loves him! I'm only just realising now that this is a "person of interest" style plot twist here. (Remember what I said about the crime dramas? Just so many of them.) But then in the end she suffered just as much as anyone else, so I guess you could say she's both a victim and a culprit, even by accident.......

Structurally I'm actually really happy with how this turned out. In my head (BECAUSE OH BOY I DID NOT WRITE ANY OF THIS DOWN! Or at least not in a coherent way) the story was split into three mini arcs - the enemies section ending with the kitchen blowout, the friends section ending with the the bay window scene, and the lovers section which covers the rest of the fic. This ended up integrating really well with the main mysteries/pulls of the story - the first being the will-they-won't-they (they will, it’s fanfiction, but how?) of the romance element, and then once that's tapering off starting to dig more into the murder mystery element, which had been more of a subplot up until then, while the romance moves onto the back burner a little bit. The dual genre was an interesting challenge to try to balance and I think it turned out pretty well!

While I'm on this, setting up my breadcrumb trails for the plot twists was simultaneously very stressful and very rewarding. Trying to keep things obvious enough to be noted but subtle enough not to give the whole game away? Gave me so many headaches lmao. I actually thought for sure that some people would twig about the body in the cellar sooner than ch42, but then actually in ch42 way more people picked up on fisher's sniffing around than I expected. Clues are hard!! But at the same time seeing the handful of people who called mira as an adoptive daughter, or the fact that krav fell down the stairs, or the fact that mira's og parents were involved was very cool and it made me very happy to see people picking up the little stuff and putting it together

QUITE A FEW PEOPLE SAID NICE THINGS TO ME ABOUT HOW CLEVER THE PIANO TUNING ANGLE WAS. I CANNOT TAKE COMPLETE CREDIT FOR THIS. IT WAS A PLOT HOLE THAT I SUDDENLY REGISTERED OUT OF NOWHERE WHILE I WAS IN THE SHOWER & THEN ENDED UP WORKING IN SO I GUESS IT TURNED OUT FOR THE BEST & MADE ME LOOK VERY SMART BUT IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

Something else that a couple of people have noted & that I only realised in the process of writing was the fact that a lot of kravitz's ghostliness in this fic has the potential to be read as an allegory for chronic illness/disability. This was something I only caught onto myself while I was writing the scene on the porch at the end of ch42 when I was writing kravitz's dialogue and was like..... oh shit that's a thing huh. Bc he is, y'know, quite literally housebound and limited in what he can do in a lot of ways, which is part of the reason I really tried to hammer home in that chapter that even though the fic ends with him being 'cured' (because that ending was always the intention from day one before I ever thought about this reading), they would have been happy together regardless. Love is not conditional!

Post-canon thoughts:

Taako and kravitz go into the house. Kravitz says oh my god what is that smell. Taako says he made blueberry pie earlier. Kravitz says okay we're putting bedroom fun times on hold I need that RIGHT NOW

Kravitz eats way too much too fast and spends the rest of the afternoon curled up on the sofa with a horrible stomach ache. He is not used to that much rich food. Taako is not impressed with this

He rolls his eyes and they watch a movie and talk instead and get to the bedroom fun times later

On the topic of food you Know krav ends up with a bit of a tummy from taako spoiling him. He looks & feels great and taako loves how comfy he is

Also on the topic of bodies I think krav does a lot of experimenting initially with what feels good now that he has a lot more freedom in presentation. He likes to mess with his hair a lot. Dresses and skirts are still a bad feel but a little makeup is fun sometimes. Kravitz living his best undeath 2k18 (I took so long to finish this fic it’s set 2 years ago now lmaoooo)

Kravitz lets taako drive him somewhere exactly Once before vowing NEVER AGAIN taako's driving privileges are REVOKED kravitz is going to get magnus to teach him to drive instead.

Taako says what the hell are you gonna do if you get pulled over you are a hundred and thirty and also dead you can't get a license. (He could get him a fake one, but he's not going to, because he's being petty about kravitz insulting his driving.) Kravitz says fine show me yours then. Taako says no but kravitz steals it anyway. A minute later he’s produced his own undoubtedly fake license out of nowhere complete with a fake DOB and a very nice picture

Taako says gasp kravitz that's ILLEGAL. Also you know you have to make this picture worse if you want it to be convincing right

Kravitz starts giving angus music lessons. Angus isn’t a natural by any means but he works hard and that gets him a long way

OH ACTUALLY I SHOULD PROBABLY SAY SMTH ABOUT THE REUNIONS HUH. GINNY THESE ARE FOR YOU:

Maybe it's weird to start with barry but the poor man has to have a sit down. He has so many questions. Kravitz what is the afterlife like it's fine you can tell him just give him a hint please and also can he maybe get like. A blood sample or something. No that's not weird it's for science what are you talking about taako bring him back

Kravitz is fully expecting lup to wreck his shit, and she acts like she's going to right up until she's close enough to give him a big ol hug instead. She says she missed him a lot & that he's much nicer to hug now that he's not a freezy boy, and kravitz goes ;_;

It's a very tight hug though. In some ways it is still a punishment

Also could he maybe hook her up with this death goddess of his? Lup would like to be immortal too, kravitz. Kravitz can you get a resume to your boss and could you write lup a reference while you're at it

Angus!! He’s so happy to have his other uncle back!! There’s a new caleb cleveland book he needs to read so they can talk about it!! All of this after a lot of crying and hugging.

I think at some point they do go over to visit mira’s descendants. Taako says hi remember me? I brought my boyfriend to visit! Unnamed great great grandchild #1 is like um he looks kind of familiar. Kravitz says well yes there is kind of a reason for that and it’s because I’m in that picture on the wall over there, hi I’m your great great grandfather nice to meet you

The family is a little weirded out by this at first but eventually they’re like. Well alright I guess do you want a coffee

Kravitz says yes please god do you know how many people keep offering me tea

He babysits for the youngest ones sometimes. The kids love him and the adults are happy to give him stories in exchange for his time, seeing as that’s all he asks for

Taako says ask them for money and contribute to this household kravitz. Kravitz says absolutely not they’re family and you’re already getting my youtube ad revenue

Yes kravitz has a youtube channel and is also very involved in the local music scene. He can’t do anything that would technically be classed as interfering with the flow of the living world but no-one said he can’t anonymously share some of his music here and there

Johann gets him a gig conducting for his orchestra every now and then. Kravitz is fucking ecstatic and finally gets to conduct some of his own pieces in front of an audience. Maybe they actually get to that biography johann mentioned at some point. Idk I haven’t thought about that part too much

Okay I wrote WAY more than I meant to here but I hope at least some of it was interesting and feel free to ask me questions if there are elements I’ve missed off of here that you want to hear more about! (Bearing in mind some of the answers may be “actual post canon content coming soon/later” lol.) As you can tell I have a lot of things to say about this fic & I’m always more than happy to hear that people are interested!! o:

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

Make Shift Weights

@notinthesameguey thought she could try me.

This is the little sister to this blurb

The alarm goes off and you groan, pulling the comforter over your head. It doesn’t block out the noise of the alarm. Almost instantly you’re regretting spending the weekend with Calum. You usually worked Fridays but took the day to have more time with him. Calum rolls over, pulling the sheets from your face. “Mornin’,” his voice is thick and gruff with sleep. 

“Hmmph,” you huff, puffy eyes barely cracking opening. “Morning,” you return turning to look at him. 

His eyes are closed too but his fingers are brushing up and down your cheek. “Last one out bed is a rotten egg.”

Your laughter is mostly an exhale. Neither of you move for another ten minutes and when the bed does dip, Calum’s the first one up. “Ha!” he cheers, arms lazily thrown over his head. “Not a rotten egg this time.”

“Well throw me out and call me stinky.”

Eventually the both of you are dressed and on your respective mats outside. The morning is cool, seeing as the sun hasn’t fully risen. The blue hour is just about ascend, the skies lingering to the edge of the moon’s darkness. 

Calum picked the circuit, HIIT and it’s mostly core according to him but there’s a bit of focus on legs and upper body training. The two of you follow along to the YouTube video. Immediately you know you’re going to regret this. You abs are quaking already and your thighs are going to give out on you, it feels.  

“I hate this, I hate this, I hate this,” you grit out between pants. Calum laughs next to you but his abs are tight too. 

During the breaks you're guzzling down water, watching Calum wipe sweat from his brows and back. He opted for a tank but it quickly got soaked and was ditched. “Breathe,” he reminds, his own breath puffing out in rhythmic pants. 

You exhale and take another breath in. “Fuck this.”

“Last circuit,” he returns. “Not so bad.” The plank feels like it’s lasting forever and even Calum glances up to the video, thinking it has to be over by now. “C’mon,” he starts as just a plea but turns into a growled exclamation. 

The blue hour has come and gone by now. The skies are not dipped in violet and are stepping into the brightness of the morning sun. Finally the timer sounds, the recorded instructor huffs out their encouragement before they finish the rest of the circuit. 

You collapse onto the mat when the last mountain climber is finished, huffing and puffing. Calum does a burpee, falls back into the pushup position and stays there before huffing out as he does a set of 15. At first, you can only watch, amazed that he’s still got anything left in him to get going. 

You let him go about whatever torture he wants to put himself through and stretch out her arms and quads. Duke finally trots over, noticing the commotion as stopped for at least one of you. Giggling, you scoop him up and wait for Calum to pause again. 

 "What are you doing?" There’s more weight on his back and he has a feeling he knows what you’ve done. 

"Giving you extra weight to pump up those muscles." You stay close by but manage to get your phone up and rolling as Calum continues on with another set of pushup. 

Calum manages to get through 4 out of the 15 before Duke's had enough and starts walking on his neck. You get Calum to stop and Duke hops down. The warmth of the day is starting to cut in. There’s still sweat running down your chest and back, but it’s not nearly as much as it was when you were working out.  Your dog finally joins in, sniffing around your feet and legs, before trailing over to Calum. 

Calum turns to his back on his bat. His arms are up and bent. "Spot me, Coach," he laughs, his breathing is heavy and he's panting. 

The sweat's reflecting off his golden skin even more. God, you want to hate him for being so goddamn attractive this sweaty and stinky. But you can’t and in the end, you direct your pup over to Calum. They get some scratches before resting their head on Calum's chest. 

"That's not where the weight goes for a benchpress," he huff and coaxes your dog up from their lounge. Once Calum gets a hold you can tell it's straining as his muscle tense and bulge. You hurriedly scramble over to keep the dog stable. Calum does one rep and the wiggles start. The both of you decide it's not worth the risk before setting them back onto the ground. They settle down between you, head on their paws. 

Calum's still panting. "I bet I could bench press you." 

"I wouldn't even let you try." 

He pouts up at you. "I won't drop you." 

"Baby, no," you laugh shaking your head. 

"Oh, c'mon, I'm strong." 

You roll your eyes at the adorable pout on his feature, the lower lip rolling over and under to reveal the pink to the underside of his lip. "I can see that." You point to his biceps and then poke it with your index finger. 

He laughs, blowing out harshly, mocking the sound of a deflating ballon. Your laughters mix into the more bustling morning and you bend down to kiss him. This is mistake as he grabs onto your arm, trying to pull you over his chest so he can attempt a bench press. 

You squeal, sneakers scoffing over the concrete. "Calum!"

 He can't get a good grip, the sweat on your arms and his hands not giving him any friction and if he's at all honest his shoulders are a little sore, so he gives up for the time being. But he does hold you to his wet chest. A breeze blows and the two of you just lay there. "

You ought to stretch to cool down," you say after a moment. He grumbles but agrees, stretching out. The rest of the day is kind of lazy, watching movies or showing each other memes on your phone. The dogs get some time outside but you save most of it for the evening. 

Your normal path takes you mostly around the block but you venture outside of it and end up near the more commercial stuff, some gas stations, a few banks, random mom and pop store and restaurants. "Remember the first time we met?" you tease, remembering the way you collided when trying to untangle leashes. Over time your dog’s calmed down but they still get stubborn about bushes and love when strangers give them pets as they pass by. 

Calum can only laugh. "I think I've proven myself not a hazard anymore. No more rogue headbutts." 

"Trust me, I'm glad." A couple fans spot you on the loop back and picture surface of you and Calum side by side. Calum's got Duke's leash and you have your dogs. People are losing their shit because you have the bigger dog and Duke's draped over Calum's neck with a small bag of snacks from the gas station in his hands too. 

You decide to post part of the video from early. It’s cute as Duke wags his tail, content to be on his pops back. You include a include a small clip of your dog giggling in Calum’s arms. Calum’s laugh is the last thing heard before the video loops. As you can tell, the old man’s spoiled. Also poor bubbas doesn’t quite cut it as a double for a bench weight. Not pictured: My failed attempt as a bench weight as well. 

[victory-cookies]

we were fools to think that nothing could go wrong (chapter 3)

Milo woke up from a restless sleep with a jolt, the sound of screaming still ringing faintly in his ears. His heart raced and he was breathing unevenly, each inhale and exhale shallow and shaky. He couldn't bring himself to be more than barely cognizant of the large boulder that had smashed through his bedroom wall at some point in the night, leaving a sizable hole that let the chilly morning air in.

He closed his eyes again, trying to steady his breaths, before he sat up and forced himself to get out of bed.

"C'mon, Murphy, you gotta get going," he murmured groggily, fighting back a yawn.

Once he had climbed down the ladder to the floor (thankfully without incident), he turned his attention to the boulder and let out a small, tired sigh.

It was a bit of a distraction, at least.

"Hey Mom?" he called as he walked to grab clothes from his closet, skirting the near-car-sized rock now sat in the middle of his room.

"Yes?" came her voice faintly from downstairs.

He pulled out a button-up, slightly beat-up body armour, and shorts and began to change into them. "Boulder came through the wall last night!"

"I'll call insurance!" she replied. "Also, breakfast is on the table whenever you're ready!"

"I'll be down in a sec!" He pulled on a sweater vest and grabbed his backpack, which he had packed the night before. "Alright, first day back to school," he said to himself. "Let's make it incredible!"

***

He tried to ignore how his voice shook a little on the last syllable.

"Milo!" came a chorus of voices as he walked up to the bus stop, hands tightly gripping the straps of his backpack.

He grinned as he saw who it was. "Hey Melissa, hey Za— oof!" He was cut off as Melissa rushed to embrace him, lifting him off the ground.

She put him back down. "Thank god you're back! It was getting so boring around here without you."

"Yeah, I think I woulda died if I had to sit through one more history class without anything catching on fire." Zack added. "You feelin' better? You had it pretty rough there for a while."

Milo rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, I'm just a little tired. And my leg's still in a splint, of course, but at least I can walk without crutches now!"

"Oh yeah right, your leg! Didn't it break that when we got knocked out during the fight?" Melissa asked. She and Zack had been for a visit with Milo once while he was still in hospital care, but it had been cut short when a nurse had come in for a routine checkup and kicked them out. They hadn't exactly had time to discuss much beyond how Milo was out of his coma and how they all were glad that everyone was at least somewhat okay. Along with that, the fact that she was half-out when the whole leg-crushing event had transpired made Milo wonder if she had forgotten his leg had been broken entirely.

He assumed he was right, seeing her expression turn mildly embarrassed, as if she'd heard what she'd said and only then realized how it sounded.

He smiled softly at her. "Yeah. I was lucky that I only had my leg hit by that falling wall, unlike you two. That must've hurt."

"Yeah..." she replied, touching the back of her head and grimacing. "Good thing, too, because if you'd been out too we would have been screwed."

"Oh yeah, we heard about what you did, by the way, pulling us to safety after we got knocked out. Thanks for that, man. You... you definitely saved our lives there," Zack said. "And you did it with a broken leg."

"Eh, no biggie," replied Milo, laughing nervously, trying to push the resurfacing memories of the event as far out of his mind as possible. "All that matters is that you guys are fine."

"Dude, you saved us from some big-ass scary mechs while you had a broken leg! Don't sell yourself short," exclaimed Melissa. “If it weren’t for you, we would have been in some deep shit.”

Suddenly, a voice came from behind them. “If it weren’t for Milo, you wouldn’t have needed to be saved in the first place, you know.”

Melissa whirled around, glaring. “Shut your piehole, Bradley.”

Bradley leaned up against the bus stop signpost and shrugged. “I’m just saying, Milo's the whole reason stuff like that happens. Giant killer robots—"

"Mechs." Melissa corrected.

"—mechs, whatever, they don't just show up ready to go on a murderous rampage around normal people!" Bradley crossed his arms. "Half of downtown was destroyed, Melissa, and they're still cleaning up the robot—"

"Mech."

"Shut up. They're still cleaning up the robot carcasses and trying to find the bodies of people who died in the building collapses!"

Uncomfortably vivid flashes of memories from the battle were now rushing back to Milo, and he gulped. "Hey guys..." he said quietly, but he was cut off as Melissa took a step towards Bradley.

"So? None of that is Milo's fault!"

"Everything that could have gone wrong did, Melissa! Our city was invaded by robots from the future who, if I'm remembering their speech from the news correctly, were, oh right, looking for Milo!"

Melissa was beginning to look like she was going to scream. "Oh no, you do not get to blame Milo for this."

"Why not?"

"Because he's not responsible for anything that happened that day! In fact, he probably was the reason more people didn't get hurt! He's certainly the reason Zack and I aren't dead!"

"Guys?" said Milo again. "Could you stop?"

"Without him around there wouldn't have been people endangered in the first place! Him being there caused it!"

"Bradley, I will say this one last time: none of this is Milo's fault! He didn't hurt anyone!"

At that, Milo's face paled. He remembered Cavendish and Dakota's account of the post-battle destruction, remembered the mech he saw destroyed right in front of his own eyes, right after he'd hit it with a bolt of energy he still hadn't figured out how he'd created.

Oh, he definitely hurt some people. Maybe not the people Melissa was referring to, but still...

He wondered if he'd ever stop feeling nauseous whenever he re-remembered that fact.

Probably not.

"Well—"

"Will you two stop!?" Zack exclaimed suddenly. "Some of us don't want to hear it."

The two of them quieted and turned to face him.

He sighed. "Thank you." He then turned to Milo and placed a gentle hand on his arm. "You alright?"

Milo realized he was shaking a little. "Oh, yeah, I— I'm fine."

"Cool. Just take some deep breaths, okay?"

Milo nodded and did as he was told, slowly breathing in and out until he began to feel a little less shaky.

They all stood there in silence for a moment, Melissa still fuming, Zack maintaining a comforting hold on Milo's arm, Bradley repeatedly curling and uncurling his plant hand and sulking, until Chad eventually walked up to join them at the bus stop.

"Hey guys, what's going on?" he asked, breaking the silence.

Melissa sighed as the bus pulled up in front of them. "Shut up, Chad."

"What'd I say?"

***

The morning had been relatively uneventful, which Milo was grateful for, with only one thing in science class exploding when it wasn't supposed to. Sure, the blast knocked the mouse cage off the shelf and let the rodents free, but that was nothing that couldn't be easily dealt with. He could tell Melissa and Bradley were still mad at each other, as they had been intensely refusing to so much as make eye contact all class. He was also pretty sure he'd seen Melissa try to slam the safety goggle box closed on Bradley's hand.

As much as he appreciated her standing up for him, he felt a little bad, seeing as he was partially the reason the two of them were angry at each other. Plus, she'd been fuming all morning. That was never fun for anybody. Her fuming sessions were sparse but legendary, and he knew it would be a while before she'd even begin to consider making up with Bradley.

Cliche or not, he really just wished they could all get along.

He also knew from experience that having that safety goggle box slam closed on your hand really hurt. Even Bradley didn't deserve that.

Eventually, lunchtime rolled around, and he, Zack, and Melissa sat down at their regular table to eat. Milo rummaged around in his backpack for a second before pulling out his lunch bag, which was looking a little squished.

"Maybe next time I should pack the anchor nearer to the bottom," he mused to himself as he took his sandwich out of the bag. "Oh well, squished PB&J is just as good as regular PB&J."

"I'd even argue it's better," Zack commented, pulling out his own lunch. "It gives the sandwich character." He emphasized the last word with a quick, vaguely Italian gesture of his hand and a chef's kiss.

Milo laughed, and Melissa cracked a small smile before returning to her fuming.

They sat there, eating in silence for a few minutes after that, before Milo sighed and spoke up.

"Melissa, you don't have to keep being mad at Bradley. Sure, he said some not-so-nice things, but you know I'm used to that by now. Some people just don't get it, and that's okay."

She put down her sandwich and leaned her face against her hand. "I know, it's just—" she made a spluttering noise and waved her free hand around. "He's such a dick! None of that stuff was your fault! It's like he thinks that you control it or something, and then choose to let stuff go wrong! Which is so not true!"

"I know, Melissa."

"It's just— arrrrrgggh!" She pressed her face into her hands and muttered something that Milo couldn't hear but made Zack's eyes widen.

"I'm gonna pretend like I didn't hear you say that," he said, blinking incredulously. "Because holy crap."

"What'd she say?" asked Milo.

Zack shook his head. "I refuse to repeat any of those words." He then leaned as farback in his chair as he could, eyes darting around the room, obviously grasping to find something else they could talk about. "Sooo, uh, hmm... oh!” He leaned forward again. “Imagine if Milo really was able to control Murphy's Law, though! Wouldn't that be wild? It would be like a weird superpower!"

Milo felt like he was going to die, right then and there, but he forced a pained smile. "Yeah, imagine that..." He giggled nervously. "It would be pretty wild."

Melissa perked up. "Yeah, what if you could, like, shoot it all like—" She punched the air in front of her a few times, like she was blasting something. "—pew pew pew! And whatever it hit would get Murphy's Law'd, like with the mech suit you guys used on the pistachions but, like, smaller. And you wouldn't need the Flynn-Fletcher brothers for it." She grinned conspiratorially. "Maybe you could use it to give Bradley a little taste of his own bullshit theory!"

He didn't respond, unable to focus on the words, because for the second time that day, images of the battle with the mechs had begun to flood Milo's head, as hard as he tried to ignore them, only this time he couldn't help but imagine the consequences of hitting Bradley with a bolt of that energy too. Would he be crushed by a collapsing building? Flattened by a falling telephone pole? Would he spontaneously burst into flames?

Would he be hurt, just like every other person he'd hit that day?

"Ex-excuse me," he said, standing up abruptly and beginning to walk away from the table.

"Where're you going?" Zack called after him.

"Washroom," he lied, voice weak, as he hurried away.

By the time he reached his favourite obscured alcove under the back staircase, he could no longer keep the memories of the battle at bay. He leaned back against the wall for support, breaths quickening as the events played out in wicked clarity in his mind. He could see every blast at him and his friends, feel the panic as they were knocked unconscious and the helplessness that followed when he had to stop running and hide. And the last few moments of the battle? He got to see those play out with the knowledge of exactly what he was causing to happen in that moment.

Eventually the memories began to recede, but his heart rate only quickened as he realized he could still feel his hands buzzing uncomfortably. He slowly brought them up, heart dropping as he confirmed what he had feared: they were surrounded by that red glow, small sparks jumping off of them.

He began to feel panicky again. He hated being panicky, too. It made being able to swiftly respond to danger a lot more difficult. Ironically, that made him begin to panic even more. His heart clenched.

Then, without warning, he felt something akin to a static shock travel through him, and a burst of red sparks flew from his hands, a few of them striking things nearby while most of them hit the underside of the stairs above him. He watched one of them hit a light in the stairwell, and the cables attaching it to the ceiling broke with a loud snap, causing the fixture to immediately fall to the ground, knocking over a garbage can nearby and spilling its contents everywhere. Milo cringed, but his attention was quickly stolen by a loud cracking noise from above him. He looked up to see a large crack spreading through the underside of the staircase.

"Uh oh," he breathed, before diving out from under the stairs just as they began to give way. With a school-shaking rumble, the whole flight crumbled and fell to the ground below.

Milo pushed himself to his knees, staring at the rubble in front of him.

There was no denying it anymore. What he had done that day hadn't been a fluke, or a fear-induced hallucination.

That red energy stuff, that focused destruction? It came from him. And now, somehow, he'd unintentionally done it for a second time.

Watching the dust settle in front of him, with his still-tingling hands stuffed into his pockets and the memories of the battle still lingering in his mind, he became acutely aware of how much the idea that he might accidentally keep doing it again terrified him.